The Life I Love Is Making Music With My Friends

One of the coolest people I have ever met was named Fayetta. She was a woman nearing her 80s. And as a teenager, I was her caretaker.

Now, if I were a betting woman I would say Fayetta was pretty deep into the progressions of Alzheimer’s disease. She would be miles away pretty much all of the time. She was difficult to communicate with or to convince to participate in a lot of the things that life requires of us. Her family was not so sure about it being Alzheimer's, meaning maybe they just didn't want it to be reality. They wanted any other solution to this problem. I don’t blame them at all. Also that disease is one you can never officially diagnose until after death.  

Some of my duties were to help Fayetta get showered and dressed each day. This proved difficult when she was someplace in dreamland about 90% of the time. In addition she was a larger lady so I couldn't just take her by the arm and gently guide her to do the things we needed to do.  So I resorted to constant begging at first.

“Fayetta, please, let’s get ready so we aren't late to breakfast. I am so hungry. If we don’t hurry we will miss out”
or

“Fayetta, you’re going to be late. Please, please let’s get your shower done so we don’t keep them waiting.”
or 

“Fayetta, we are going to miss our flight if we don’t move quickly. We don’t want to be in trouble, do we?”

Sometimes my incessant begging worked. Sometimes it didn't.  On those days it was a no-go I had to call someone on my walkie talkie to come assist me with my assistance giving.  Fayetta really hated those days and I felt like I had failed.

Then one morning as Fayetta stared out the window of her retirement community apartment window I noticed a huge bin full of Willie Nelson memorabilia and cassette tapes shoved in the back of her closet. It was full on fan-girl type equipment.  I decided to inquire about it.

“Hey Fayetta, do you like Willie Nelson?”

Fayetta instantly lit up and was suddenly very present. “Why yes, Willie and I actually know each other. He quite fancies me to be frank.”

A bit taken aback with the interaction and pleased with the happy look on her face I decided to put on some of her cassette tapes while we began our morning routine. The sounds of Willie Nelson music filled the room that morning as the early daylight poured in. Anticipating our typical routine I started in with the usual we’re-gonna-be-late song and dance.  To which I got the most surprising response.

“Well, we don’t want to keep Willie waiting. I had better hurry!” Fayette replied as she got up and willingly headed into the bathroom for her shower that day.

BINGO! From that point on as long as the Willie Nelson music flowed freely I was able to get all of my tasks for Fayetta done in a breeze. I may or may not have occasionally said something to the effect of "Willie is waiting in the bathroom for ya!".  I have so many happy memories of curling her hair and painting her nails to help her “get ready to see Willie”. Through these preparations we became great friends. Fayetta began to care about the clothes she wore. She wanted to be sure her hair looked nice. She didn't daydream through breakfast, but was able to eat with the rest of her neighbors even if it turned out they were not Willie Nelson. Fayetta had the opportunity get outside and feel the sunlight and breathe out in the gardens.

Not only did I have the opportunity make someone’s quality of life better by being able to give them the care and dignity they deserved, I also was treated to being introduced to the music of a pretty dang cool fella. The hope he gave to my pal Fayetta really changed and made the rest of her life that much happier. I’m reminded of that every time I hear his voice. I'm proud to say that I too am a Willie Nelson fan just like my dear friend Fayetta.

You were always on my mind.