camouflage

It's a sad day when you notice that your new floor matches your dog perfectly.

Green with Envy - 4/13/10

Alternate Universe


Inspired
by your
purity
and
power

Not to
mention
you've got
the
softest
heart

I'd
kill
for just
one
day
in her
shoes

Life and
Laughter
mixed
with
lovin

But
in reality
I must
awake

and
eat
my envy
for breakfast.

Accidental Memories - March 23, 2010

So my BlackBerry has this annoying habit of inadvertently taking pictures by itself all of the time. Mostly because it has this side activated button that works even when it's locked. In the sake of pure random time killage I thought I'd blog some of those badboys and try to interpret them for society.

Was it a dream?
Is this the only evidence that proves it
A photograph of you and I


Exhibit A)

This is definitely a morning on-the-way-to-work picture. I love my job like my chihuahua loves food. I love that this shot captures the morning sun along with my swinging rear view mirror decoration. I hope that I didn't waste that morning with a negative mood.



















Exhibit B)

This would be my kitchen floor. Now looking at it I think back to the days in 2002 when we were building our house. I was sooo young in comparison to today. Both in a literal way and an emotional way. I picked this tile out at a store that was messy in my opinion. Funny how picking put flooring for your very first home can be THE most exciting thing on the planet at a certain moment.



















Exhibit C)

This would be the inside of MY car. I had no idea how much I've fallen in love with my little Honda Civic until somebody backed into me at the store. When it was gone for a week and I was driving a beastly massive rental car I just wanted this piece of my life back...ASAP!

















Exhibit D)

Meester Rocco puppy on my lap. I still have a broken heart for my first chi Tito, but my sweet new dog has worked his hardest to steal my heart. His kisses are the best medicine. He's very genuine, and I suppose ALL dogs are, but I think mine might just have a lil somethin special


















Exhibit E)

Shopping trip to Kohls to pick up a birthday present for my nephew Jayden. Nicholas was on high-brat frequency that day. Conned me into purchasing two overpriced transformers toys, and to go to Wendys for him on the way there EVEN though there would be food at the party. I'm way too soft hearted, but I love that kid so much. What's an bit of a compromise in my self worth to make him smile? NOTHING!


















Exhibit F)

Thing 1. I'd be a teen mom again in a heartbeat because I ended up this lucky. He is actually taller than me now. And, OK I realize that I am a shorty, but still...



















There are more photos and I could keep on keepin on, but I have to work in the morning and it's, oh around 1:30am.

The lesson I learned here tonight with this project is how much I like the life I'm living, and I'm living the life I like.

Counting the days..

This is soon to be my new baby. I'm just waiting for the order to come in. Time is a man with a blade in his hand.......

Do you wanna know? What my love is. 2/25/10

As it is known I am crazy about music. Love it. Breathe it. Over-quote it. Just one of those things that make me, me. I can remember my very first experience with live music. My parents decided to take me out to a pizza parlor. The building still exists in Sandy, but alas now it is a mattress store. Anyway, back to the story at hand, I love pizza! It has ALWAYS been one of my most favorite things ever, even then at my young age of four. So the server brings out our pizza and just as we begin to eat a band comes out. Its some local indie band of the 80s, which even happened to have a woman guitar player. Awesome!! And as soon as they started playing I couldn't resist the urge to head right to the front of the stage and watch in amazement. Not even the pull of glorious pizza could hold me back. I was a fan even in my preschool days.

Since November of 2008 I have been a fan of Alkaline Trio. I honestly think to myself "I can't believe I didn't find them sooner" every time a new Alkaline Trio song finds me. My bestie Marta was an avid fan and every time that I played Bayside for her, or took her to a show, she told me of how they reminded her of Alkaline Trio. So when the opportunity for us to see them, and VIP I might add thanks to our dearest pal Buck, we were definitely game to see the show!

Well, the show opened with Thrice who also put on a most entertaining show, and ended with Rise Against who as headliner earned their place without a doubt, but the band that stole my musical heart that day was Alkaline Trio. Now, it may have been enhanced by the Long Island Ice Teas we were sipping, but I have never been soooo into the performance of a band that I didn't even know their songs. We danced, cheered, and were completely entertained the whole time. I've since seen them a total of 3 times and each time I am very impressed.

Their music is unique and refreshing lyrically. It ranges from dark to upbeat. They make a fun play on words in the titles and lyrics, very cool. The lead singer and the bass player take turns singing lead vocals and that is also a fun change of pace. I love songs sung by each equally.

Here is my playlist suggestions: (admittedly I haven't purchased their older, punk rock themed CDs, but I will as that is just my cup of tea)

* Calling All Skeletons
* In Vein
* Over and Out
* I Found Away
* Do You Wanna Know?
* Live Young, Die Fast
* Love Love, Kiss Kiss
* Lost and Rendered
* Into The Night
* In My Stomach
* Time To Waste
* Burn
* Mercy Me
* Sadie

So, if you're not already a fan, I do suggest making Alkaline Trio one to give a listen to. I dare say you won't be dissapointed.

Live young, die fast
No one will last
So sit back and relax
Enjoy the crash
You're fading to black and it's gone
Live young, die fast

And I feel a miracle
In every breath that I breathe
Won't let this miracle
End in tragedy
I sense a miracle
In all that I see
Won't let this miracle
Slip away from me

injurious aficionado of the foot coverings...2/5/10

To know, know, know me - Is to love, love, love... all my shoes.

Alright, I will admit it. I have an excessive amount of shoes. Recently in an organizational frenzy I decided to clean out my closet. A girlfriend of mine dared me to take inventory on my shoe supply. Well, apparently I like shoesies more than my 7-year-old likes Sock Monkeys. I've got over 300 pairs of shoes. I had to give up counting due to exhaustion. No kidding. Part of the problem is that when I find a pair of shoes/boots that I love I tend to pick up a pair in each color. Or at least in black and brown. You know, 'cause once you've got a great pair that you adore you always think to yourself "If only these were black/brown I could wear those with THIS outfit today. Sigh." That aside I started thinking now, I have all of these shoes, but they are never all in rotation at the same time. There are your basic seasonal shoes (sandals, boots, flip flops, etc), and then you've got your all season shoes (boots, tennis shoes, dressy shoes) that are kind of like all season tires. Good for everything.

Anyhow, here are a few pics of the shoes that are in the current rotation:

The Vintage Cowboy Boots. My mom picked them up for me at a thrift shop for 5 bucks. They look so cute with everything. I am in love with them. Now at first glance, I have to confess, I was unsure. Once I started pairing them with dresses, jeans, and skirts, I couldn't stop.






The Catch-all Tennis Shoes. I pair them with sweats, jeans, certain dresses, certain skirts. They fit like a glove. Their beat up look makes me love them even more. Nothing like pairing a delicate dress with a tough girl pair of trashed slip ons.







The Dressy Work Shoes. They pair up great with dress pants, skinny pants, and jeans. I am hung up on the studs on them. They have this edgy vibe to them. The toe normally would be a tad too pointy for my liking, but these guys pull it off.







The Brown Booties. I like pairing these with bare legs (they stand out more this way) and my neutral colored dresses and skirts. They also work with the right skinny pants, or the occasional legging.








The Black Booties. I have so much fun wearing these shoes with my going out dresses. Now I don't go out a lot, but I wore them to the work Christmas Party with a great 80s style dress and bare legs. Got lots of positive feedback. I also like them with the right skinny pant like the other pair.

Wednesday, Boring Wednesday 1/27/10

Today was rock star day at work. We were to wear our favorite band T-shirt to work. Well, if you don't know it already, I love live music. So this means I have collected a lot of shirts over the years. So rather than debate the most favorite I just threw on the first one my hands fell upon. Bayside. I paired it with a black camisole underneath, a really cute black thin sweatery-jacket thing I picked up over last weekend, a black tulip skirt, leggings, and my black vintage cowboy boots with the tassels. I think it worked.

Now on to Bayside. Bayside is a band from NY. I was introduced to them by my teenage brother back in 2005. And, upon listening, I thought to myself "Where have I been? I love these guys!" This band's music is fantastic both acoustically and electric. I love the lyrics too. On Halloween in 2005 my family was planning on heading out to The Great Salt Air here in SLC to see them. That day we received horrible news that the show was canceled. Bayside had been in a terrible van accident on their way here and their drummer John Beatz was killed.

Since then after healing, they have made several more albums. And I've really loved their live shows. Oh, and every time I've met their singer Anthony Raneri (@AnthonyRaneri on Twitter) I pretty much can't say a word because I find him to be such an inspiration to me as a writer. Such passion and energy captured in song form. Envy. I hope one day to write songs that are a tenth of these.

Anyways here is a list of my favorite Bayside songs if you're interested in checking them out:

• Blame It On Bad Luck


• Carry On


• Dear Tragedy


• Devotion & Desire


• Don't Call Me Peanut


• Duality


• Existing in a Crisis


• Half A Life


• Hello Shitty


• How To Fix Everything


• If You're Bored


• Just Enough To Love You


• Masterpiece


• Montauk


• The Tortures Of The Damned
  


• They Looked Like Strong Hands


• We'll Be OK


• Winter

If you hear this and you think you're ready, meet me in
Montauk
where we'll write out in the sand
Here lies the destiny of two hurt souls afraid to be cured again
That could be our epitaph

Chit-Chat & the resulting words

This poem was inspired by a conversation with a friend about a person who in our lives turned out to be quite a different person than we had originally thought them to be. So here is the random documentation of the poem that resulted.


Plagued


She's left here denying an ache left by one
who never brought her anything more than meltaways.

Thinking to herself that his presence again
at any time would be far too soon.

However, having to admit that thought arises
way too much for someone so deserving of oblivion.

She's nothing more than a weather broadcast
from last year to him.

Not even as lasting as a gas pump receipt.

Yet she sits here with the heavy heart of a woman
who thought she'd killed that muse.

One that lays dormant inside, hibernating.

Not even a muse of great worth, but one that clings
to her like the smoke of a house fire.

If only she could suffocate it.

Just wasting words on lower cases and capitals

So Charissa tells herself today, "Don't go pawning your saddle just yet!"

So I have decided that I am starting a new figure of speech. Pawning your saddle/Pawn your saddle. To pawn one's saddle is being in one's most desperate state.

You see I was watching some vintage country videos the other day (please don't stop liking me for that), and I looked up "Good at Goodbye" by George Strait cause well, I like the song. The video is so funny. In it his woman leaves him and drives to Vegas. When she gets there she stops at this pawn shop, goes in and pawns her saddle (she is a cowgirl and all), and comes out counting her cash.

So since watching this, I've been trying to make "pawning your saddle" happen. It's mostly well received with a bit of feedback with it sounding, uh, a little dirty. Like something that "working girls" would do. Haha, gross. I think it is freakin hilarious and sounds like real old saying someone would say.

Anyways, if ya'll can help me make Pawning your saddle/Pawn your saddle happen that would be great. And hey, in the very least people will be like "what the hell did you just say?" It's a great comeback when someone is whining or complaining. Maybe it's a story you have heard over and over and over. You can just reply with - maybe you should just go and pawn your saddle!

To see the chica literally Pawn Her Saddle take this link:



Oh, P.S. here is a random impromptu poem.

Emotional Toll

I stop
at the booth
I dig
in my purse

Scrambling
Unprepared
Annoyed

Then it hits me
I'm
being
overcharged.

r-r-random

1. I was born in Murray UT to a 17-year old mommy, and a daddy who was 18. They almost named me Paige after Jimmy Page in Led Zeppelin. How cool of a name story would that have been?

2. My first dog was named Rainbow. It was a white lab. I was only 2-years-old, but I totally remember the day we went and picked her out. I was holding her and my daddy asked me what I was going to name her. I didn't hesitate. It was Rainbow, after Rainbow Bright with whom I was completely obsessed.

3. I could not wait for my sister to be born. I still take credit for naming her. My mom was going through a list of names and said "Hey, what do you think of the name Lacey?" Before my daddy had a chance to answer I was yelling, as 3-year-old girls do, "That's it, her name is Lacey! I picked it."

4. I am currently in the process of learning to play the guitar. I have this fantasy of writing songs and singing whilst I play all acoustically like Jewel. Haha, just for my own amusement of course! I can play this crappy, weak version of a tiny part of 'OK I believe you but my Tommy Gun don't' by Brand New. Well, I play half of the part cause strumming more than one string at time isn't working for me yet. I think my hands are too small, or I am just bad at it. =(

5. I have this freakishly strong super long memory. My first memory goes back to when I was one and a half. I remember living at my grandma's house and my mommy asked me to go upstairs with her to get something to eat. She didn't want to go by herself. That is still totally the way she is to this day too.

6. My first best friend was a boy named Clay. He was way older than me. I can't believe my parents let me play with him! He was cool though, he always brought me peaches from his yard.

7. I got the chicken pox in the 2nd grade completely on purpose. My best friend Jenny's sister had come down with them. So at recess I played extra close to her hoping to come down with the popular disease that all the cool kids had caught. Yeah, later I realized I was quite the idiot for that.

8. During my late teens I had a huge crush on Freddie Prinze Jr. and Jared Leto (OK, still have that one). When Freddie married Sarah whatever-her-face I decided that I hated her because I was so jealous. Her whole Buffy the Vampire Slayer series, I didn't watch it cause of that. Haha.

9. I used to be a CNA from age 17-20. As horrible as it sounds, I have never had a job as fulfilling as taking care of the elderly. I loved them. I just ended up finding a better job, which I am still at and love of course! Still - I miss you Fayetta!

10. I am obsessed with Pine Sol. I think it is the bestest cleaner in the universe. I really don't feel like the house is clean until it reeks of Pine Sol.

11. When I was a little girl I swore I could not ever marry a boy who didn't like to eat mushrooms. Seriously, I asked them that question when I started dating. Praying (fingers crossed) that cute boys didn't say No.

12. I only snooped into my Christmas presents in advance once. I had to know if I was getting my Jem & the Holograms doll. I did get it. I still feel guilty, like really bad. I'm such a jerko.

13. I love being a mommy. I would never ever undo that. I'm glad that I started young. They will both graduate High School by the time that I turn 40. Woot!

14. I have never watched the movie Jerry McGuire because my ex-boyfriend in High School said it reminded him of us. I didn't want to feel sad since we had broken up.

15. I really, really, really hate the subscription cards in magazines. Here is how it goes. I fill up a nice bubble bath. Hop in the tub and grab one of my favorite magazines, and then like 50 little cards fall in and land in my bath! Hello, if I have a subscription already, I don't need ten thousand cards. I think I am good.

16. My mom's husband is only 7-years older than I. Can you say cougar? Don't call her that though, it will totally piss her off. Haha, she looks super young I promise.

17. Tyler introduced me to a lot of music that I have no idea how I lived without. I owe him credit for that. Big time. I was music loser before...admittedly!

18. I married and had two kids with the boy that teased me about being flat chested in the 8th grade.

19. I love designer denim. I have a jeans collection worth as much as some people's cars, well maybe my little brothers cars.Most of the pants are super tight on me right now cause I have been on this fast food/eat candy everyday like it's going out of style kick. Hahaha. Boooo!

20. I have some really close friends in many states, but I have only lived in this one. I have close friends in FL, OR, NM, TX, WA, CA, and NY.

21. My daddy was in a band when I was growing up. He is an amazing guitar player, although now he just works A LOT.

22. I have owned 5 cars since I was 16! They were an 89' Chevy Beretta, a 92' Honda Civic, a 2003 Toyota Corolla, a 2005 Toyota Corolla, and now a 2006 Honda Civic. Three of the cars were totaled in car accidents, each not my fault!!

23. I didn't go to my High School Prom.

24. My favorite summer memory from 2008 was going boating at Flaming Gorge. I cried on the waverunners though and begged to be taken back. It was scary.

25. I really hope that I get the opportunity to meet Stephen King before I die. No kidding, I think he is an amazing writer. I'd love to pick his brain.

These are the words you wish you wrote down... but not really

Here are a few poems culled from my notebooks from 2008. I happened upon them today. Most of them are pretty short & sweet. Not really complete poems, just a lot of gibberish. I wish I could call some of them sonnets, hahaha but these, uh yeah, not really. Oh, and in my notebooks, they have kick ass poetic stanza. Here in my blog, well I can't make the words line up the way I would like. So it does take away from them. With a few I can recall exactly where I was coming from, and others, well not so much anymore. I'm like "OK, now what on earth was I thinking that day?" Anyways, enjoy or don't. It's all good!


Romantic


At a loss for breath
I stammer on
rambling nervously

Abruptly
I am silenced
with a kiss



Sabotage


Sitting
in
the
ruins
Looking
at
the
pieces
Convincing
myself
to
accept
that
waiting
this
time
would
only
be
in
vain
For
I
have
annihilated
my
Prince
Charming
He
has
become
a
casualty
of
my
ways.



A developing addiction


Don't want to look too eager,
but I am as eager as can be.

I am getting hooked on that
voice
laugh
presence.

I am so screwed.



A display of insincere behavior


thanks
for
the doubt,
it's appreciated
today.
it makes denying
the
eventual
so much
easier
to do.


Vacay


I want time off
a break from
you
Until
you're in my arms
you touch my face
you breathe
scent envelopes me

I'll never leave




wish list


Can someone
please
NOTICE
I am struggling
so
very
much
My heart is
heavy
with confusion
distraction
helplessness
loss
This falsity
makes
EVERYTHING
seem
so
pointless

Can I get fries with that?


Spark


Just
a little
Match
I thought to
myself
nothing to
fear
easily
contained
i frolicked
carelessly
in the
smoke
i
blink
my
eyes
and suddenly
the blaze
is
unbearable



Traveler


Please walk in whenever it is
convenient

I've shown you that you are
welcome

However, mind you, I am very
nice...


Luggage


I need to make
a transition
Who could continue
in this fashion?
My eyes and stomach
are oh so weary
And they bags
they are
so
heavy.



Friday


All you have ever wanted
walks through the door.

Are
you
ready?



Arachnida


Barely aquiantances
but you're so consuming
It's known that this is complete
trespassing.

Then why does it
feel
so
right?



fallacious


A work of fiction
this
happiness
Who ever really
ascertains
it in it's purity?
my
assurance
is
broken
but honestly,
really
who
cares?



Home Improvement


It's
been
broken
so
long
that
I'm
starting
to
find
that
I
like
it
that
way.



half-Witted


How stupid I've been.
How easily I am led.
Did I truly
beLIEve
that
YOU
could ever
really be
good
for
me?

You
who cannot be
swayed
by anything
aside
from
novelty.



Sacrifice


I keep myself
firmly
securely
safely
at the right distance


I know at any given moment
fading
lacking
waning
will take their hold


Your energy will be directed
elsewhere
away
far from me
and I am unwilling


For we are alike
You and I
artistic
fickle
emotional

And I refuse to be
The
Sacrifice



KC


I don't
owe
you

You are cruel
too busy to see

I don't
want
you

You are heartless
frozen in your ways

But
i cannot say
without
fraudelence
that
I don't
love
you

for eternity
i
will

quick- frozen

freeze rapidly as to preserve the natural flavors

Just words...

435




It was busy,
the sea
that night.
And I
was just
floating
in my usual
passive
stride.
A
riptide
pulling
me
along.
We passed
innocently
as was
the process.
Magnetic -
the pull,
it
struck me.
Undeniable,
without
time
for
consciousness.
I wanted
to
envelope you
in my
arms.
Give you your
kiss
goodbye,
advance
to
even
saying
Hello.





hangover




torn
each day
i struggle
up at times
then plunging
intoxicated
with upset
and
skepticism
i lie here
as the room
spins
each day waking
thinking
knowing
that
i have a plan.




drummer




stoical
as always
i attended
not expecting
novelty
or
exaltation

now
i just
cant
deny
the energy
that
YOU
left
stamped
in my
cognizance

Artificial Sweetener - eBook for sale

As many of you are aware, I love writing poems. Recently I put together a short eBook with a few of them. If you want a copy let me know. Now remember, since it is poetry it may not be everyone's cup of tea. So if you read it and think I'm a lame, well I won't be offended.

A few things I want to point out first off is that I am not depressed or sad. Those of you that write may notice that emotion brings out the good stuff. So one day when I am sad/pissed/intrigued I may come up with some stuff I really want to write down. An hour later I may not feel the same way. I just don't want anyone to think I am terribly unhappy, hate my loved ones, or some emo chick. Hehehe. I just happen to come up with the better stuff when I am not in the average mood.

Lastly the eBook is formatted in an excecutable file. Executable files get a bad rep for carrying "bad things" on the net. You can trust my file I promise. However, hotmail, my work email, etc blocked the file thinking it was evil. So I have found that I can send it, receive it via yahoo. I am willing to try sending it to any other email addy, but thought I would give you the heads up that yahoo works.

So if you are curious as to what some of these poems are all about, let me know.

Here is what the cover looks like. I made it with a Splenda (the most yummy fake sugar out there) molecule. Haha, I know, I know I am cleaver, but not really. Growing up I was always planning to use Charissa Lee as my Pen Name since it was keeping it simple. As an adult, well what sounds best isn't as much the issue rather I don't want my real last name on the internet. I do work in the financial industry. Identity theft is too scary. Better safe than sorry.