Am I correct to defend the fist that holds this pen?

Boredey McBorederson has nothing to write about, but is in the mood to write. So here ya go universe. 10 Question Time Killer Survey in all it's lame glory.




1. Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them? I have a few pairs that do, but for the most part no. I am not opposed to the destructed jean look; I just have kind of grown out of it these days. Not to say that I won’t come back to it. Fashion always comes back around.

2. Do you get the full 8 hours of sleep each night? Pssht! Sleeping is for sissies. I basically sleep the least amount as possible to not die of a heart attack. I once read on a yahoo article that young dude played a video game for one week straight without sleeping and croaked. So I just want to sleep enough to avoid that.

3. Do you celebrate 420? Personally, no. I am not a smoker. However, I don’t see anything wrong with it for adult humans. It’s just not fer me. And well, I typically see it as more of a guy hobby. Mansport so to speak.

4. Do you eat raw cookie dough? Is this question here as a sub-question for #3? Ha! I don’t bake a lot of cookies, but I do make cakes (as of late) and I will probably die of salmonella poisoning because I can’t help but lick the beaters off my mixer. It’s like some deeply rooted childhood habit of being able to lick the stupid things. I can’t NOT do it. It tastes so good. Judge me if you must. I understand. Mmm, cake batter.

5. Do you wear your Significant Other’s clothes? I wear a few of his shirts around the house and to work out on occasion. They are good for sleeping in. Would I wear them as regular day to day fashion? Nah. Not my style yo.

6. Ever been to Georgia? Indeedy I have been. I had to go there on business a few years back, during the month of July. It felt like breathing under a blanket. I am not used to humidity such as that. I would run from my rental car to the hotel like a weirdo so the air couldn’t drown me. I bet they thought I was a super freak, but oh well. Also, typically when I travel on business the others working for the company “host” me and take me to dinner and stuff. Well, for some reason no one there in Atlanta was assigned to look after me so I was on my own. I thought that was AWESOME. I had a GPS so I went shopping all over the place. It was all fine and dandy until this weird dude basically wouldn’t stop bugging me (ie probably intended to kidnap and kill me dead) at this one store to the point where I had to ask a salesperson to help me get rid of him. They walked me to my car and I learned a lesson about shopping alone in large cities. Scary, no?

7. Do you have freckles? Yep. I have a sprinkling across my face. There is a story behind my freckles. As you are probably are aware I am half Hispanic and half Caucasian. Growing up I had a lot of blue eyed blond haired cousins and I was the little brown one. I was also freckle free probably because the sun didn’t have as much impact on my olive skin. Needless to say I was a weirdo kid and I was jealous of their cute little freckles. One night I prayed really hard that I too could have cute little freckles like my cousins. And nothing. And nothing for years. Then one random day when I was about 14 I happened to be looking in the mirror, and mind you by then I no longer had my freckle wanting obsession, I noticed I HAD FRECKLES!?!?!?! I whole smattering across my cheeks and nose. And there they remain to this day. Every so often someone tells me they think my freckles are cute and that they like them. And my only answer is “Thanks. I totally prayed for them.”





8. When is the last time you got pulled over for speeding? Well, that was about a year ago. Mercifully, the officer took pity on my pathetic self and didn’t ticket me. I have no idea why. I’m flying down the highway in a 60 mile per hour zone. And I’m doing at least, oh 82. Rocking out to Alkaline Trio. In a hurry to get home to my kiddos. Suddenly, there’s a cop traveling the opposite direction that I didn’t notice coming. He flips around. I obviously slow down (aka put on the engine breaks) and try to act non-suspect. Yeah right. So of course he pulls over the crazy beotch driving like an insane woman. “Do you have any idea how fast you were going?” he asks me with this oh so serious face. “Upper 70s?” I respond with my most pathetic pouty innocent face. “Nice try.” Is his response as he gathers my stuff and does the walk back to his car. I start to wonder if they can put you in jail for reckless driving the first time you do it. And I imagine myself calling Joey to tell him that I am locked up and to take good care of my kiddos. Well, just a few minutes later the officer comes a’walkin back and hands me my stuff and says “Be careful. Slow down. And have a Happy Valentine’s Day” UH LUCKY DOG ARE I, no?

9. How old were you when you got engaged/married? Twenty Two. Now, I don’t really recommend to any youngins to go rushing out and get married right away. I would probably offer the advice of living your life a bit more first and really spending time with your future spouse. Just being together for a while first. Being Friends!! However, by the time I decided to get married I had been in my relationship about 5-years and had a 4-year old kiddo. I felt like it was a natural step, and well it just felt silly to keep referring to him as my boyfriend at that point in time.

10. How many kids do you want to have? Well, I used to want to have 3 children. Then my youngest, second child, turned out to be a total maniac handful so that is where I stopped. I was totally exhausted. I am not 100% opposed to having more kids, but right now it’s not on the table. If I do though, it will have to be a little girl and we will call her Violet. Not like I’ve thought about it or anything.

Well, if you get bored and are in the mood for a good ol’ survey of randomness (I haven’t done one of this in years at this point) you should take this and share your answers with me. Because if you actually read my blog, I probably really like you and would be totally entertained by your answers my pals.

This Night Is Wild, So Calm & Dull

Song o' the Week: Hands Down - Dashboard Confessional
Note - an obvious work of fiction.


“Well, there’s the van; over there, waiting for me. I should just keep on driving.” I thought to myself as I pulled into the parking lot that night. “I should just keep going. I should go home.” I didn’t go home, the smartie-pants that I was. I pulled into my parking space. I looked up and I saw his face. A face I have to squint hard to even remember these days.

It was his idea to meet up and chit chat. I was out doing some peaceful solo shopping and he didn’t feel like hanging out with his girlfriend’s family. He wanted to skip out on a family gathering since I was in the area. The next day he was leaving on a week long trip. Really, he should have been home where he belonged. I didn’t know it yet, but he was not the kind of guy who ever just stayed where he belonged. However, by stopping there I wasn’t where I belonged either, so who was I to throw stones?

So we decided to swing by the park near his home. I’d like to claim he twisted my arm, but hey, sometimes we all do stupid shit, right? From the moment I got there I was knee deep in regret, but at the same time not wanting to leave like I should have. This may be just what mental illness feels like.

We set out for a walk. It was briskly cold outside, October. There I was walking with a boy wearing torn jeans and a beanie. The sun was starting to move lower in a sky that was starting to turn an orangey tone. This fella was three years my junior. We walked past the pond and the ducks were squawking. We moved past a few joggers and couples with their happy dogs. I hardly knew him. His voice kept catching me by surprise every so often because it was deeper than I expected. It’s not like I hadn’t talked to him before, but for some reason it kept getting me off kilter that day. It made the little hairs stand up on my arms.

Because I am clearly brilliant I was wearing flip-flops that day and my feet were cold. “Thank goodness my toes have cute polish” I thought to myself as I wiggled and admired them as the leaves crumbled beneath my feet. Such a deep thought, eh? We stopped and sat on top of a picnic table. I leaned back reading the messages people had carved into the metal. The conversation was good. I purposely tried to avoid looking at his face. We really hit it off. I was probably being straight up manipulated, but I wasn’t completely naïve and just enjoying his company. We talked about music, and life, and relationships, tattoos, and food. And the time ticked away.

Eventually it was time to head back. Nothing inappropriate had gone down aside from just being friends oddly feeling like it was inappropriate. Why did I ever give him my phone number in the first place? What was I thinking? I started to get really nervous. Regretful.

I started rambling as we walked back quickly. I have a habit of talking too much when I get out of sorts. And he then got a little bit more quiet. I became even more nervous (WHY DID HE STOP TALKING?!) and jabbered more. Oh god, where is the freaking car? Why did we walk so far away? This.Is.So.Lame. Why am I here? I don’t even like this dude like that. Why are we alone? I totally should have just stopped at McDonald's instead.

I started to feel like I was talking to myself, but it was better than awkward silence. We were came upon a bridge that lead to the parking lot. Finally. I was walking about two to three good steps ahead of him. Just about 50-yards from my freedom to escape this mistake of an evening. Sweet Salvation Ahoy! I don’t remember the words I was saying, but suddenly... mid-sentence, he was kissing me on that bridge.

Instantly an imaginary camera is spinning around us. Every breath inside of me was being crushed by the hurricane that was him. It was an eternity. I shut up. It was the best and worst thing to ever happen to me all at once.


I should have just gone home that day.

And Everything Will Bring A Chain Of Love.

Song o' Le Week. You know, I could do this as more of a Song de Jour type post habit if I could find time. Imagine, just how annoying that could get, eh? Alas, weekly it will have to be.

This week's song is "Danny's Song". The version that I am most familiar with is the cover done by Anne Murray. It is an early 70s country-folksy type song. I totally taught it to myself today, which has annoyed my eldest kiddo the point that he is trying to distract me so I stop playing. Ironically enough, he is the reason I love this song so much.

It's 1997, I'm still only 17-years-old and I am pregnant. Preg to the Nant. I was so stressed out about it that I waited 3-months to tell my best friends. This of course is an eternity in teenage girl world, but I have a habit about keeping stuff to myself when I really shouldn't. I wouldn't blame them if they still didn't trust my secret-keepin-ass.

Anyways, at the time I am going to school in the mornings to finish out senior year, puking my guts out secretly because in addition to hiding it from my friends I am also totally hiding it from my parents too, and then scooting off to my full time swing shift job doing laundry at a local nursing home. I make a whopping $6 an hour at said job, and Joey is ballin-shot-calling with his $8.50 an hour cook job at the nearby Sizzler restaurant.

Needless to say we are basically poor partially due to my need to have a newer (but not really all that great) car and the attached payment and because when you're expecting a baby you gotta buy a lot of shit. A few months later we move into a basement apartment at graduation and I take up a night job as a CNA.

One morning I was driving home from work, feeling kind of down because HEY WHERE IS MY DREAM LIFE?!?! And this song shuffles on the oldies station. By the end of the song tears are streaming down my face because it finally all feels worth it. I get it, and it's gonna be OK. It might even be good. How about that?



People smile and tell me I'm the lucky one

And we've just begun,

I think I'm gonna have a son

He will be like him and me,

as free as a dove

Conceived in love,

the sun is gonna shine above

And even though we ain't got money

I'm so in love with ya honey

And everything will bring a chain of love

And in the mornin' when I rise

Brings a tear of joy to my eyes

And tell me everything's gonna be all right

Aint Love The Sweetest Thing?

Cake decorating. Prettification of sweet delicious cake. Something I never knew a lot about. Never expected to acquire any skill in. It used to be that I was pretty damn proud of myself for whipping up a cake from a mix and frosting it with a cheapo can of frosting. And by proud I mean I'd take said cake to a party or work or any ol' place, because hey it was sugar and who doesn't love sugar, right? Yeah, try my faux zero effort cake awesomeness!!! I'm a super cook! How embarassing, eh?

Recently my sweet friend that I am THE SILLIEST version of me with, Jessica, signed us up to take a cake decorating class over the course of a month. So each Saturday morning in January we headed over to a local craft store to play with sugar and hang with some other chicks. Everyone else in our class was either a teenager or a cute little mom over 40. We were the only in-betweens. This either made us super cool or look like a pair of weirdos who don't have anything better to do with our weekend. I prefer to assume the first option. Although if you're just weird enough people won't bother you by trying to talk to/befriend you. This may not always be without it's perks.



* Jessica naturally excelling at creating roses (unlike moi)


Soon I came to realize that everyone else in the class had some kind of cake decorating experience but me. I couldn't (and still don't do the best at) even hold a piping bag properly. And pretty much anything I could squeeze out looked lopsided and or sloppy. Ghetto flowers over here! Sad times for Charissa-can't-frost-a-dang-thing-right. I just didn't have a knack for it. Oh and people wear aprons for a reason, FYI. Well, I wanted to go home and practice, but life just wouldn't have it as it turned out to me a mega busy month. So these Saturday sessions were all it was gonna be.


* These ones (above) are mine


* These ones are Jessica's obviously because they're better than mine.


Anyway, long-sugary-story short eventually it started to come together somewhat. I had to prepare the night before, bring everything the teacher (who at times reminded me of my dear friend Christy in some ways) told us to and pay attention. Following directions, who knew that worked? Now I can actually whip up REAL frosting in my kitchen super quickly and it actually tastes like frosting. In the past all I had been able to accomplish was making some lumpy ass sweet goo that sort of resembled frosting and/or animal puke. In addition we learned how to fill cakes/cupcakes/ANYTHING you can slice in half. FILLING inside of cakes is cooler than a polar bear's toenails. Shit is rad. I don't know if I will ever make a cake without a filling again. It is that good/easy to do. Why have plain ol' boring cake when you can have cake from heaven with raspberry/apricot/pudding hiding on the inside? That would just be a downgrade.




Today was our last class of Course One. We may do more courses down the road when we can find the time, but at least we have some photographic evidence of our cake decorating extravaganza yo. Below you will see my finale cake which I gave to my sister for her birthday this coming week. There are no photos up close of Jessica's finished cake because she purposely squished it with the lid so I wouldn't have to feel inferior yet again.







So sometime soon I want to have a cake decorating party at my house so if you're one of my pals who lives in the area and want to participate let me know! Just imagine how much fun I am after a few hours of eating frosting nonstop. Woo!

I Wanna Be The One To Walk In The Sun

Song o' The Week:

I decided today that weekly I'd like to highlight a song in this here popular (I may or may not be laughing uncontrollably at that comment) blog. I LOVE MUSIC, oh so so much. I love it enough to drive you nutty with my analogies, interpretations, and by well, playing songs out pretty much all the time. Wanna song stuck in your head? Hang around me for a while, I'll give you an earworm or two. Every single blog title here - song lyric (or song title). Basically, I'm batshit inFRICKINsane. So I'd like to regularly share a song and the memory/story/whateves attached to it here in my brain.



This week I'd like to share my very first ever, favorite song. Above is a photo circa 1983ish. I was a wittle kiddo and my mother asked me what my favorite song was. I had to think about it for all of 3 seconds and came up with 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' and then I danced around our living room. I danced my silly little ass off all day long. I felt awesome, I had a favorite song. It was all mine, forget the world this was my song and Cyndi Lauper was my hero. No one could be cooler than she. I wanted to grow up and be just like her one day.




Now watching this video tonight I probably would wear 90% of the dresses shown in this video (even to work tomorrow). Funny how that fashion shit comes right back around.

So, what was YOUR first favorite song?

Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend

Marilyn Monroe. Someone who has often fascinated my sister and I. Growing up we watched the movies made about her. We always loved (aka fought over) a good coffee table book full of her photos. We learned all about Miss Norma Jean. Of course she is still a well known sex symbol. Also she was a woman, one with a realistic figure and a really sweet personality. Of course her life is plagued with drama and speculation. Failed marriages, presidential love affairs… You know, stuff & things.




Flash forward some years (OK enough years for me to be thirty friggin two and my sister nearly twenty nine) and there is a new movie coming out - “My Week with Marilyn”. Of course my mother is all over it and we go and see it at the Broadway theater here in Salt Lake City. This is one of my favorite movie theaters to go to because it means we are seeing an independent or limited release film. This means I get to see something rare or at least something before others. This also means that I can climb upon my cool-movie/hipster-high-horse and brag a little bit. Oh yeah!



Anyway, Michelle Williams plays Marilyn in this movie which is based on the true stories of a young man who worked for her for one week during the filming of the movie ‘The Prince and the Showgirl’. It was a story of a time that Marilyn escaped being “Marilyn” and just existed without Hollywood. It depicted her real personality, not the persona she had created for the public. Michelle really did a great job capturing how fragile yet capable Marilyn was. I think she really nailed the look and behaviors and it only made me like her more as an actress. I definitely thought it was an interesting story and a side of Marilyn that I didn’t know about which I found intriguing. To know me is to know that I also liked the fashion in the movie. It looks that careful work went into recreating similar wardrobe to what Miss Monroe wore. And of course her personal style with hair and make-up was oh so glamorous. So to get to my poorly worded point here, it’s a good movie and worth watching. I intend to purchase the DVD upon release, and I hardly ever buy movies anymore. So that has to say something I suppose.



Oh, and recently I decided it would be a fun pastime to eventually watch all of the old Marilyn Monroe movies. Last night I watched ‘Gentlemen Prefer Blondes’ as my movie of choice. It is kinda fun to see how these old flicks can be funny and full of innuendo even in a time before I was even a twinkle in my parents’ eyes (since they were not born yet either and all, ya know. Ha!).


* Note the random bondage-y type stuff going on with the ladies in black. Not what I had expected from a late 50s movie. Lil risque.

Well, I'm done with my Marilyn stuff now because obviously there is nothing I can write about an icon such as her that most folks don't already know. I just think she was a pretty rad chick.

It Would Be So Fine To See Your Face At My Door

11-days. Shut-Ins. That is how long it has been since we have had any type of structured routine in this house. Just the group of us, nowhere to go, no car (for most of it), just hanging around the house. Chilling. Eating a ton of great tasting, yet uber caloric food. In the morning it's finally over. We are headed back out into the wild. Bittersweetly with the holiday season behind us. Back to our scrambled mornings of fights to not get out of bed, bowls of cereal, the dog taking a leak on the front porch post because it is too cold and he is too lazy to go down to the lawn and then me yelling at him for it. Oh tomorrow.

During these days off without the car I spent a fair amount of time online. I even broke down and made a Pinterest for heaven’s sake. Frankly, I really didn’t want to do that because I like having a life and I knew that it would be another time-suck for me, but I was bored enough to do it anyway. Gah. During this time I also, because I just had so much to do, kept track of the random crap I googled, typically to prove a point in conversation or because as I have mentioned before, it drives me batty to not be 100% certain about the random stuff that crosses my mind.


Things I Googled over Christmas Vacation:


The Poltergeist Curse.



As you might imagine around my house we are fans of all things scary. So of course during our shut-in lockdown phase we all sat down one day and watched the whole Poltergeist trilogy. And as you may know there is a rumored curse to haunt the cast of the movies because a shit ton of people croaked during the process of releasing these three movies. Well of course everyone knows the little girl, the star of the movies, died at the end of filming the last one. So I decided to look up all the gory details.

A) Carol Ann - Heather O’ Rourke died in 1988 when she was only 12-years-old of septic shock. Yeah, that’s normal for kids, right?

B) Dana – The teenage older sister in the first movie actually died in 1982, the year the first (and very best of the films in my opinion) movie came out. Her boyfriend strangled her. She was only 22. She would be the exact same age as my daddy if she were still alive. Sad.

C) Kane – The scary ass old dude from the second movie died of stomach cancer in 1985. I guess he was 60, but he looked like 800 to me.

D) Taylor – The Medicine Man who came to protect the fam from the above scary old man died of kidney failure in 1987.

That’s a lot of dying for one show if you ask me. A curse? Who knows, but sure sounds creeptastic to me. Oh, and as we were watching it we just had to know if ol’ Tangina (Zelda Rubinstein) the little psychic lady was still alive today. During my search I found out that cute little Zelda passed away at the age of 76 in 2010. So she was around until just barely-ish. So unfortunately there will be no more of that cute little fakey sounding voice for this world.


Reasons your car might sound like a tank.



On Friday night at the last possible minute, 6pm-ish when the shop closed, we got our car back after two weeks of major car surgery! Woo hoo! Freedom Time! Hooray yo! And as it was driven home we had to note that our car now sounded a lot like a super cool suped up car with a race muffler. And since it isn't, and never will be, any of those things this unfortunately was a bad thing. So we had to wait out the weekend out to take the sucker back in. During that time I of course, just like looking up web MD, decided to speculate what on earth it's problemo could be this time around. So "I searched Reasons Your Car Might Sound Like A Tank" because that is what it sounded like.

Here is what I found:

A) How to fix a car that stalls in 7 Steps (which reminded me of the movie How To Lose A Guy In 10-days, and now I feel like watching it)
B) Fuel Injection Cleaner
C) How To Prepare for an Emergency (fuuuuuuuck! this is not a good sign, eh?)
D) My Car Started To Emit Gas Fumes Well After We Had Turned It Off (Now it is the car's turn to get even, and kill us - via poison!)
E) What is Vapor Lock? ( I don't even ever want to know)
F) How to get a good deal on a new vehicle when doing a trade in (DING DING DING!!)


Sundance Film Festival



Every so often, in January, my pals and I may go up and enjoy the festivities at the Sundance Film festival in Park City. Once my pal Marta won some tickets to some awards party and we went and sat in the middle of a bunch of filmmakers and right next to Tony Hawk because it was for Sports Documentaries. That night was fun and entertaining, but we felt a bit out of place. Ya know, since we were neither film makers nor sports peeps. Oh, and another time 30 Seconds To Mars played a concert up there. So yeah, we had to be there! We had so much fun that day freezing our asses off.

Anyway, thinking about how fun attending has been in the past I decided to read up on when this year's festivus is (Jan 19-29th). And also about the screenings that are screenings here in SLC along with those up in Park City. I hope we can score some tickets and find the time to go up. I also was curious about the history of the festival. It is about to happen upon it's 34th year anniversary! Wow! It is also the largest independent film festival in the United States. Pretty Dang Cool. Well, if anyone wants to join me on some sort of movie seeing/legitimate reason to hang at the festival (aside from volunteering because I have too much responsibility to commit to it), let's do it!


Celebrities that are my age or approximate same age (within 12 months or less difference):



No good reason or value for this search, just plain ol' boredom at it's best. Shut-Ins, remember? And FYI, there were a lot of non celebrity people that come up for my year or so of birth that look all porn star-ish. Ew.

Aaron Paul - Jesse, Breaking Bad love him
Adam Levine
Bam Margera
Brandy Norwood
Claire Danes
Earl Watson - Utah Jazz player
Jennifer Love Hewitt
Joel and Benji Madden
Kate Hudson
Kourtney Kardashian - not particularly a Kardashian fan myself
Heath Ledger
Macaulay Culkin
Rosario Dawson
Ryan Gosling
Zooey Deschanel

There were a lot more, but I got tired of reading em. My not-giving-a-shit side kicked in, or I may have gotten hungry. Who knows?

Well, that is the end of my useless Winter Break information searches this time around. Anyone else unearth any interesting topics or facts lately and wanna share?

The Clanking Of Crystal, Explosions Off In The Distance

2011 - another day, another dollar, right?

So many things happened during the year. Some good, some bad. Our first family trip to Disneyland, our first broken kid bone, a shit ton of glorious car troubles (GO TEAM HONDA!), a new home. For all the good moves I made there were plenty of mistakes too. Such is life, right?




I’d make some resolutions, but hey, who wants to put stuff in black and white that they possibly won’t have time to get around to? Not I. And like the overplayed hipster NYE anthem I used as my blog title (Death Cab) says, resolutions are just: for self assigned penance & problems with easy solutions. Yes, I need to focus on being more fit/healthy with my food choices. That is something I want. I need to not always say yes to every single favor asked of me because it makes me exhausted and grumpy. I could be more grateful for what I have in love and life. When one sits around and nitpicks the things that could be done better in this life there are plenty of improvement opportunities. However, the things that are good in my world far outnumber the struggles. I can't complain!



Things may not be perfect, but tonight I am going to be serving root beer floats to two of my most favorite people on the planet. And I wouldn’t change that for the world.



PS- Also in 2011 I did drink my first beer ever. Yes I am a sissy girl and I just don't like beer. It's icky. However, my cute pal Meggi did convince me to try a Lunch Box (a beer with orange juice & a shot of amaretto) and it wasn't too bad after all! Of course, I still haven't had another beer, but hey it could happen if someone doctored one up again for me.

Gaily They Ring While People Sing

'Carol Of The Bells' or 'The-Most-Scary-As-Shit-Christmas-Song-Of-All-Time'? You decide.



*flashback fades in*

January 1986. West Jordan, Utah. Terra Linda Elementary School. I am 6-years-old. I have on a rad purple striped shirt with coordinating beads. Pretty much the epitome of cool. And, today, we are going to watch the Space Ship take off! That sure as hell sounds better than lame ass math, yep. Woot!

So we all pile into the gathering area, AKA us plopping on the floor in front of a TV on a cart. It's on a news channel so obviously as a pile of kids, we're completely engaged in watching the TV. My floor-neighbor, whose last name was Davenport, was poking me in the back about every 3 to 4 seconds. He was a fella with blue eyes that I was certain I would marry (and my mother wrote something in his Valentine from me that year that I still to this day have no idea what it said, and of course now she cannot remember). Of course, I just looked him up on Facebook and if it is the dude who first came up, well I think I dodged a bit of a bullet not marrying him after all. Alas, everything happens for a reason I suppose.

Anyway, so we are sitting there watching a bunch of boring stuff waiting for THE SPACESHIP!!!! to take off. There is a teacher on board, a lady teacher. So this is cool to us, sort of, as we wait. Finally, there is a countdown and this shit happens...



Obviously, none of us really get it. "Is there a fire on the spaceship, teacher?" which was answered with "I don't know sweetie, let's watch Old Yeller instead, OK?" And she put on the movie and went off to talk with the other teachers. It was weird. I mean, why in the world are we watching this ancient ass Dog movie? Maybe it was a ploy to knock us all out from the boredom.



Well, by the time we got out of school we knew that the shuttle had exploded. And we had seen that happen real time. It was all anyone could talk about. It was sad. It was crazy! And so later that night I was watching TV with my daddy and they replayed the footage, except they set it to 'The Carol of the MotherFucking Bells' probably because it was still near the Christmas Season, I don't know why, it sounds stupid, but they did. I think it was to create drama and freak everyone out. And it worked...on me.

So now I associate that song with some scary ass shit I once saw at school. And heck, this song is just screaming horror movie anyway, at least in my opinion. To this day it stirs up emotion.

This isn't who I am. From confidence to self doubt, in 60 seconds.

I have decided my “about me” section on this here blog has been beyond lame. It was so MySpace-circa-2005 cliché lame. It was embarrassing and sure to scare people as far away from my boring ass blog as they could get. Obviously, this highlighted just how cool I really am, but alas it is time for a change. So I felt it was time to write a little something about myself. Well, really, I am just bored, but hey it suits an unimportant need so here we go.

(My teenage parents got a Polaroid camera for a wedding gift. All of my baby pics are Polaroids. This makes people laugh at me and call me "hood". Thanks pals!)

My name is Charissa (Shuh-Ris-Ah) however I pretty much respond to whatever you decide to call me. Everyone butchers my name all the time. I just go along with whatever version fits the speaker's need, you know, like a term of endearment or something. It was so bad that Kindergarten – 6th grade I just went by my nickname of Chrissy. Kept it simple.

(Check out this sweet outfit and hair combo. I pulled the shirt out of my mom's closet, used a lot of safety pins to hide my nonexistent boobies, and gave myself some hideous, fluffy ass hair-do. Shame.)

I am the oldest of five children, one sister and three brothers. So I tend to want to mother and take care of everyone a lot. If it ever starts to bug you just tell me to shut it.

(This is all of us minus my baby brother Preston.)

Joey and I have two sons, for their privacy & the fear that one day they will hate me for it, I don’t use their real names in my blog. Plus my nicknames for them (Sookie Pookie and Double D) are far too enchanting to not use to describe them every day! Maybe I can even use it as a threat since these days what happens on the internet stays on the internet. Threats are the key to good parenting.

(The little dudes)


As far as work goes I have an awesome job as a Customer Service Manager and spend my days running a call center. Due to that fact though I have to be super careful about things and I don’t share any stories about work, which would make for super funny blogs, but hey this… is life. I’m actually kind of a freak about it and will go to great lengths to protect my personal life and work from crossing paths. I should probably lighten up a little bit, but I won’t.

As far as my personal interests go I really like to write, play guitar, whine (I don’t like to be cold, hungry, bored, or without my phone), and spend time with the fam and friends. I am constantly doing something; I struggle to just be sometimes. There is always something to do, someone to talk to, some problem to solve. And I probably annoy my Twitter pals to no end, but those that love me don’t mind, or at least ignore me.

In closing, this really isn't a much improved bio, but it gave me something to do besides go to sleep, because who needs sleep anyway??

(This is my most recent photo. November 2011. I really shouldn't have given myself this fringe after watching a how-to video on youtube. Really.)

And these are the words you wish you wrote down. This is the way you wish your voice sounds.

Writer’s block, I’ve got a case of it. I half-start about ten bajillion posts and then delete them. I want to write about everything and anything ranging from ‘Moving’ to ‘First School Experiences’ (to include detailed recaps of my outfits. Kindergarten – purple. Boss.) to ‘The Overwhelming Desire That I Have to Tear Apart a Bunch of Clothes And Sew Them Back Together to Form Uber Awesome Fashion Pieces’.

Yet most nights instead of whipping up these glorious bits of literary genius entertainment, I find myself instead on the phone all night, helping my youngest draw up tortoises – which are SO not the same thing as turtles as I’ve been heavily reminded repeatedly, cleaning the house like a superfreak – superfreak, or watching ‘Sister Wives’ on Netflix (PS – I don’t get why those ladies all love that dude so much, he’s kind of a lame! PPS – I just started watching this show and I’m not 100% why I am intrigued, but I am and well, it’s something to do to not do something, I guess). Where is my mind?

I think in times of late I have just had a lot on my plate, starting with work, family, and moving house after 10-YEARS (I feel so old to have had my own home for 10-years already. Holyyyy shit dudes!). Hopefully soon I can start writing again more consistently. More than just short poems saved in the memo app of my phone. More than just work emails. More than just simple replies to the homies on Social Networking sites via phone. I want to write something real. OK? Please & thanks!

Lately my interests range from Fashion to Politics, from Parenting to Business Management. I’m all over the place. Adult A freakin D to the D yo! If I could keep up with everything I want to do I wouldn’t have time to sleep, which I already don’t do a lot of anyway, just ask Twitter. I want to play my guitar, and paint, and decorate my house, and cook, and run/go to yoga (OH UNIVERSE, PLEASE HELP A GIRL FIND HER WAY BACK TO A REGULAR WORKOUT PLAN, PUHLEEZE!) and obviously, I can go on and on and on like a lame version of the energizer bunny who just doesn’t have enough hours in the day to keep on going and going and going... And I want to do all of these things simultaneously whilst eating good (I’ll leave “good” open for interpretation) food and laying in bed unwinding from a hectic business day snuggling my Chihuahua. Thanks brain.

Is it too early to start resolutioning for the New Year?

I get kind of hectic inside...

I am currently stranded in my house. My car is broken down because it is from hell and has been in the hands of some jerkface shop for 8-days now. That being said aside from going a little bit cabin-fevery, I am bored. So guess what that means? I'm gonna write some useless bit of info here for all to read, or not read, in all of it's boring glory (and that little saying has me thinking of Morning Glories, the prettiest of all losery weeds). Woo!

Celebrity crushes. We all had them (or still do) at some point in our lives. These perfect folks that command our attention from time to time. Sometimes for years. Sometimes we look back and think "Seriously?? Really? I told people you were cute?" Well, since I am so currently involved in life (aka watching Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2 for the 5th time this week with the little dude) I have decided it would be cool to create a timeline of my life using my celebrity crushes. This will probably date me more than I want, but it's the price you pay for being a bored person.




First Crush Ever - Rick Savage. It's the 80s. I'm probably the ripe old age of maybe 6 or 7. And all of my older cousins are way into Def Leppard. And they're watching music videos on MTV when that was what they actually showed. And I see this dude, bass playing so of course I think he is brilliant, a real musical hero. From England. And I think he's cute. Maybe one day we can meet and get married, yeah that would be cool. Now, at the time I don't realize that the dude is my dad's same age and way too old already for the likes of my Terra-Linda-Elementary-School-attending self. I just thought he was (he's old now, and well, not cute anymore) awesome. And so it began...



So fast forward to 1992. And everyone (my co-7th grade homies) is not allowed to own the Nirvana or Metallica tapes that are the coolest thing out. Everyone but ME. Because my parents are not uber religious like the parents of all of my friends. So everyone came to my house to listen to the "good stuff". And so we hung out and listened to and watched Nirvana. And I could not help but notice that this crazy dude Kurt Cobain was kinda.. sorta.. a little bit of a babe. I mean, he had pretty rad eyes and didn't give a shit what anyone thought, ever. Does it get any cooler? Maybe one day we could meet, and get married. Yeah....



That of course was the story until things changed. My life changed the day 'My So Called Life' came out. Claire Danes (who is basically my exact same age, I think she's like 2-weeks older than me) is playing a 15-year-old girl (which we are at the time) and her love interest in the one and only Jared Leto aka Jordan Catalano. He is the most perfect guy I had ever seen both on TV and well, in real life he's alright too. And so when he decided to start a band when I was 22, I totally didn't become obsessed for a good 5-years, make friends with other obsessed, crazed fangirls, noo..... JK, but it was worth being embarrassingly into this band because it brought me at least 6 or 7 of the best friends I have ever had. I love my girls. And there are so many people that I know today only because of 30 Seconds to Mars. Thank you Jordan frickin' Catalano!



So towards the end of my high school days there's this dude in all of the up and coming coming-of-age flicks. Freddie Prinze Jr. And I can't help but notice, he is like the cutest... dude... ever. I mean adorable. I see him and think, "Wow, if I could just meet this dude, we could totally fall in love, and get married. Yeah." And I live happily in crush-land, until Sarah Michelle Gellar's lame ass comes along and MARRIES him. Shattering my fairy tale love life. Thanks Sarah. I don't ever get along very well with girls named Sarah. This has been a life trend. Weird.



And then time goes on and I've grown up, found out about real non-crush love myself, have two little kiddos of my own and, well crushes go on the back burner to real life. They are no longer exciting, or well, valuable. Celebs are just people, probably rude ones, especially the boy ones I would assume. That is until I discover The Strokes and find out about Julian Casablancas aka The Coolest Dude Alive. And he's kind of a bit of a fox ;) He is a brilliant singer/song writer who also shares my love for music by The Doors. And well, so again I think he is pretty awesome, of course. I'd probably not label this one as of much as a crush since, well, I don't really do crushes anymore. Ha!

Well that is the end of my personal time line o' lame-ass celeb crushes. That wasn't as entertaining as I had hoped, but it helped me kill some time while the chihuahua movie played for one kid, and while the other said mean things about his brother into his Auto-Tune app on his ipod. Anyone else have a list they wanna share with me? Isn't it funny how much our opinions change as we evolve? Eventually we all do, grow up.

This is the only of my celeb crushes I actually got to meet:

I'm nose over tail for you.

Do you ever pause when asked what your favorite movie is? Are there just too many to list? Or are you mildly shamed by the silliness of your top picks? Well, that said since this is often the popular question that seems to come up I think I am gonna write about my top 5 movies, given at gut response (meaning not taking days to overthink it and pick apart my choices).

I pride myself on not being a romantic/chick flick lover when it comes to movies, but then every movie (almost, but not all) I am about to share with you has a romantic story. So, guess I'm a bit of a hypocrite sometimes. Oh well. When you're done reading my list, and of course watching ALL of these trailers, share with me your favorite movies. Maybe we can enlighten each other to some new favs, eh?




1)Urban Cowboy - The first thing I have to tell people is that one of my favorite movies is Urban Cowboy. Yeah. I know. Now this flick is a little 80s gem that most people either love or find completely annoying. I think it is completely awesome. I can't remember when I first saw it, I was a little kid that much I remember. And it stars John Travolta in the lead role of Bud, a cowboy and Debra Winger plays Sissy his cowgirl wife. FYI - all of my sibs call me Sissy, and Sissy also has curly hair in this movie - so obviously I can relate, haha! Anyway, they have a lot of relationship issues as couples who rush into marriage young often do, people try to get in between them, they have attitude problems, and well drama ensues. It may not be everyone's cup of tea, but it caused me to continuously search the earth for a mini license plate with my name on it (as a child I didn't realize this would have to be a custom endeavor and one would never exist in nature) for most of my life. Long story short, I will always dig this movie.

So here are a few clips from this movie that I think are so rad. And you probably won't want to watch this whole thing 'cause it's a little bit long, but I'm cheesing it up watching it right now. Ha!





2) The Shining - If you haven't already heard of The Shining, well, that's probably not even a realistic way to start a sentence. This film is one of my favorites of all time. And not only because it was written by my hero Stephen King, but also because it was written into a fantastic screenplay and directed so amazingly. It was beyond it's time cool and still remains so even with the enhancements to technology. Of course it is the story of a couple played by John Nicholson and Shelly DuVall who moved with their young son to the Overlook Hotel for the winter to stay as caretakers. It should have just been them in the hotel, but of course there was something else there too, something paranormal, something beyond each of them. Oh, I get excited even speaking of it. Such a perfect movie.





3) The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - This movie stars Jim Carrey as the character Joel. A man who is an introvert, a quiet person who sketches and doesn't step far out of his comfort zone. One day Joel meets a girl named Clementine played by the ever lovely Kate Winslet, an eccentric and wildly outgoing person. Of course they fall for each other, but then it takes a turn for the worse. And, low and behold, there happens to be a clinic that offers to erase unwanted memories and gives people a fresh start. Throughout this movie they maintain such a strong connection that cannot be broken. So creative, so fascinating. I really advocate for watching the movie twice. The second time everything falls into place and really makes a lot more sense. And I do have to say, I really believe that Jim Carrey may be one of my favorite actors of all time. Oh, and if I should ever have a baby girl someday, I intend to name her with the torturous name of Clementine because I love this movie so much. I am seriously not even kidding.





4)Muriel's Wedding - This has got to be one of the coolest little lesser known flicks I have ever seen. Muriel Heslop is the ugly duckling and less popular chick (played by Toni Collette of The 6th Sense and United States of Tara) that is always listening to Abba and plotting out her wedding right down to the tiniest detail. Well, things start looking up for Muriel and the most amazing and not so amazing things happen to her. You should definitely not judge this one on how cheesy it looks on the outside. It's great. Oh and I didn't mention the movie is set in Australia? I love everything Australia related, just ask my Australian Twitter pals Ash and Matt. Haha!





5) Stranger Than Fiction - In my opinion, and I'm no film major/or even expert in any way, this film is extremely well done. I love the storyline, the characters, the approach to everything. Harold Crick, played by Will Farrell, is a tax auditor who starts to fall for an opposite personalitied baker played by Maggie Gyllenhaal. And then one day he starts to hear someone narrating his life, and disaster is called out to ensue. I love the meaning this film brings to light in so many ways. I've quoted it often and been very impressed. And one time this person once mentioned to me that there is a part of this movie that reminded them of me. And since I love this movie will pretty much all of my guts, I thought that was super awesome. Ha! Anyway, it's another one that I recommend watching two times. I probably say that because I have kids that make it impossible to even type a sentence here without being interrupted 15-20 times, but still. More than once and it is even better! A must see.

Drive yourself insane tonight.

One hot summer day, oh gosh, a few years ago, I was watching my nephew while my brother in law went to an appointment. I had to drop him off at this appointment so I had 3 little boys to hang out with. Alone. Lucky me!

We had an hour or two to kill so I decided to take my youngest, who was still a toddler at the time, to get a haircut. Now taking this kid (total OCD-child, tantrum thrower extraordinaire) was no easy task, but he also had the wildest crazy hair/was at that homeless-person point that a haircut could be avoided no more. Now, it’s not what you think, not your typical mom walks in, booster chair and animal smock, get a lolly pop for being a good wittle boy in the end type of experience. We are talking the process is that the kid sits in my lap, we both get the aprons on us, and I hold him down and convince him that getting a haircut is a walk in the park/distract him. Mega wiggles/freak out. There could be tears or uncontrollable laughter, from either/both of us, depending on the day.

So we stop at some haircut place. And before we go in I turn to the two older boys and tell them if they are good kids (while I go through haircut-hell) I would take them immediately after for ice cream cones. You know, because bribery is one of the best tools in the parent tool kit yo. They promise to comply.

We go into this haircut establishment. The older boys with PSPs in hand sit in the waiting chairs with little halos. So adorable, gotta love ‘em. Psycho toddler and I are seated in the chair and wrapped up for haircutpocalypse.

Well, immediately following the start of the hair clippers the so called angel boys start bouncing around. Then they knock over some magazines on the waiting table. Then they get into a fight. Someone is crying, who depending on the 30-second interval, pretty much the entire time. During this joyous moment I am nicely (because I cannot yell at them in my condition/can’t do so in public, at least not the way I want to at the moment) trying to coax them to settle down, knock it off, PLEASE be good. Well, this ends with them almost breaking a window with a huge rock that the hair stylist was propping the door open with. It was hot that day and their AC was subpar at the supercutsjoint. These two kids tag teamed the boulder rock and moved it just a bit and dropped it with an embarrassing crash and bang to the glass door window.

Haircut event ends with toddler looking spiffy, me cleaning up their magazine mess, and the lady with an overly big tip for having to deal with the lot of us.
So we get back in the car and we still have time on our hands before bro-in-law in done. And they give me the puppy dog eyes and apologize. And being the pushover that I am I head over to Micky D’s for their ice cream cones. I know you think I am a total lame now, but don’t judge. I was a really young parent. I was doing what I could, aka I was (OK, still am) a pansy.

We pull up to the drive up menu and I order two vanilla ice cream cones and an order of French Fries for my baby, who (even still) doesn’t like ice cream. And the drive up lady replies, “I’m sorry; our ice cream machine is down today.We don’t have any.”

So we get little dude’s fries and we pull out. Right as we do my nephew bursts into tears. I try to console him saying we have popsicles at home and we can go get them. Or hey, maybe we can even stop at the store and buy some ice cream. Just don’t be sad. And he replies to me with the most serious face I have seen on him in his entire little life “Jesus broke the ice cream machine because me and T were bad kids!” Then my oldest started crying too.

It was awesome. The end.

Hush, hush, don't tell me tell me ‘cause it hurts.

The other day at work this girl was talking about the first time she got her heart broken. Apparently a boy who worked at her local McDonalds stole her heart and ran off with the girl who made the fries. Apparently she was displeased with that. This made me think about the first time said heart breaking happened to me and how overly dramatic I was.

Let’s go way back in the day. I am 15-years-old and just started High School. The girls and I thought we were adult women just starting out in the world. This High School thing was only a formality since we were brilliant and ready to take on anything! We wore a shit-ton of lipstick and lip liner (gross!). My girl Monica has most of the blackmail photos which I pray never see the light of day again. This was a sad time in our fashion history.

Being the first week of school we were obviously scoping out the boys. We were outside on lunch one day chatting it up and my friend Brandy said to me “OK, so you have got to pick a boy. Everyone else has. Which one do you like?” Feeling put on the spot and not particularly interested in any of them as of yet, I scanned the scenery. Saw a decent enough fella. And I pointed at him saying “uh, that one… I guess.” Much to her delight this was her cousin (by marriage or something I don’t remember the details). So she quickly introduced us.

I don’t remember how it happened exactly, but we were pretty much an item from that point on. He and I spent every day after school together. He walked me to my classes each day with a PDA at the drop off. How lame and embarrassing is that? Eww! He was pretty much my first grown up kiss too and he later told me I sucked at kissing and gave me a complex. I still worry that my kisses are lame, although I really don’t care as much in my old age.

Everything was delight, sunshine, pop music, and happiness. I had a boyfriend and I liked him, he was cool! We went to the Homecoming and Sadie Hawkins dances together. Neither of us was old enough to drive yet. Teenage life was good. This was until one Thursday afternoon. My friend who introduced us decides to have a little talk with me on our walk home from school.


Brandy: So when do you plan to ‘you know’ with C?

Me: 'You know' what?

Brandy: You know, DO IT. With him.

Me (taken aback): Ohhhh. Uh, never. I don’t ever plan to do that with him. We’re kids dude. Maybe if we stay together and grow up and stuff. Maybe…then. Maybe.

Brandy: OK cool. Yeah, I totally respect that.


And the very next day I was gently dumped. Apparently Brandy was on a mission to gather some info for my bf C. I had been ambushed. Blindsided. Things just weren’t “working out” anymore he said. We could “still be friends” he said. B freakin S. Whateves.

Boom. My happy little fairy tale life (aka like 6-weeks of time we dated) crushed by the dark cloud of evil boy meanness. I spent that night at my bestie Monica’s house. I cried until I was dehydrated. I cried to her, to our other best friend Dawn, and also to Monica’s older brother Phil (who may have quite possibly been drunk that whole time. We suspected it). I cried Nancy Kerrigan-style “Why?!? Whyyyyy?!!!? Why?!?” for hours. That night we slept on the trampoline even though it was late fall and freezing. I think we woke to frost on our blankets, seriously! My best friends were amazing. They didn’t even mock me and I totally deserved some mocking that day. Then we walked to Media Play and bought some CDs and ate candy. And life went on.

A few weeks later first ex-boyfriend was dating J, a girl with pretty blond curls that wore a lot of bright red lipstick and was known for being “friendly”. They lasted 2-weeks together. And she did, ‘you know’ with him from what I heard and they still didn’t even last as long as he and I did. Bullet dodged - one point for me!

If I could go back and give teenage me a word of advice it would be: Don’t ever take it personal and just let the boys go chase themselves. So anyone else wanna share their tale of their first heartbreak? Eh? Eh?



I'm including this song because we all danced a lot after school at Monica's house. That ex brought this song around. He came from California where everyone liked to dance a lot. Just because it was hip I suppose.