One of the coolest people I have ever met was named Fayetta.
She was a woman nearing her 80s. And as a teenager, I was her caretaker.
Now, if I were a betting woman I would say Fayetta was
pretty deep into the progressions of Alzheimer’s disease. She would be miles
away pretty much all of the time. She was difficult to communicate with or to
convince to participate in a lot of the things that life requires of us. Her
family was not so sure about it being Alzheimer's, meaning maybe they just didn't want it to be reality. They wanted any other solution to this problem. I don’t blame
them at all. Also that disease is one you can never officially diagnose until
after death.
Some of my duties were to help Fayetta get
showered and dressed each day. This proved difficult when she was someplace in
dreamland about 90% of the time. In addition she was a larger lady so I couldn't just
take her by the arm and gently guide her to do the things we needed to do. So I resorted to constant begging at first.
“Fayetta, please, let’s get ready
so we aren't late to breakfast. I am so hungry. If we don’t hurry we will miss
out”
or
or
“Fayetta, you’re going to be late. Please, please let’s get your shower
done so we don’t keep them waiting.”
or
or
“Fayetta, we are going to miss our
flight if we don’t move quickly. We don’t want to be in trouble, do we?”
Sometimes my incessant begging worked. Sometimes it didn't. On those days it was a no-go I had to call someone on my
walkie talkie to come assist me with my assistance giving. Fayetta really hated those days and I felt
like I had failed.
Then one morning as Fayetta stared out the window of her
retirement community apartment window I noticed a huge bin full of Willie
Nelson memorabilia and cassette tapes shoved in the back of her closet. It was full on fan-girl type equipment. I decided to inquire about it.
“Hey Fayetta, do you like Willie
Nelson?”
Fayetta instantly lit up and was suddenly
very present. “Why yes, Willie and I actually know each other. He quite fancies
me to be frank.”
A bit taken aback with the interaction and pleased with the
happy look on her face I decided to put on some of her cassette tapes while we
began our morning routine. The sounds of Willie Nelson music filled the room that
morning as the early daylight poured in. Anticipating our typical routine I started in with the usual we’re-gonna-be-late song and dance. To which I got the most surprising response.
“Well, we don’t want to keep Willie
waiting. I had better hurry!” Fayette replied as she got up and willingly
headed into the bathroom for her shower that day.
BINGO! From that point on as long as the Willie Nelson music
flowed freely I was able to get all of my tasks for Fayetta done in a breeze. I may or may not have occasionally said something to the effect of "Willie is waiting in the bathroom for ya!". I
have so many happy memories of curling her hair and painting her nails to help her
“get ready to see Willie”. Through these preparations we became great friends.
Fayetta began to care about the clothes she wore. She wanted to be sure her
hair looked nice. She didn't daydream through breakfast, but was able to eat
with the rest of her neighbors even if it turned out they were not Willie
Nelson. Fayetta had the opportunity get outside and feel the sunlight and breathe
out in the gardens.
Not only did I have the opportunity make someone’s quality
of life better by being able to give them the care and dignity they deserved, I
also was treated to being introduced to the music of a pretty dang cool fella.
The hope he gave to my pal Fayetta really changed and made the rest of her life
that much happier. I’m reminded of that every time I hear his voice. I'm proud to say that I too am a Willie Nelson fan just like my dear friend Fayetta.
You were always on my
mind.
.jpg)
