Anybody Could've Told You Right From the Start it's Bout to Fall Apart.

Believe it or not, I don't always have it together all of the time.  Can you imagine that?! I worry a lot. I've learned a few tough lessons the hard way. I don't sleep enough. I stress out.

One of my life outlets has always been writing. It seems like I am always making an excuse for why this blog isn't up to date these days. No more excuses. It just will exist as it exists. I have a gazillion stories to tell. I am going to just set a goal to not die with these stories still inside of me. Lets hope I make the  "me-time" to get my lazy fingers on the keyboard a little more often, for reasons outside of business of course!

I'm in the mood for a listy type of blog tonight. And being the rebel I am (I just made a total tough bitch face, ya shoulda seen it), I want to write a list of things that scare the crap out of me vs a list of my current likes/loves/cool shit. I will write that list later because it so full lately. For every sucky thing that has happened during my writing hiatus about five amazingly rad things happened to tip the life scales in a positive direction. The sucky things, I'm just chalking them up to muses and maybe it will help me finally dip my toes into the proper song writing pool!

Things that absolutely terrify me and I'm not ashamed to admit:

1) Spinal Meningitis the grand daddy of all terrible, quickly onset illnesses. Basically the brain and spinal chord get infected, and if you don't get medical treatment, you die. And you're not really sure if you have Meningitis or a cold/flu.  So every time the little dudes get sick I am just certain that they are near death and I constantly burden them with "Does your head hurt? Can you move your neck? Don't go into the light." Long story short, our family is the most consistent hand washers this side of the Jordan River. Germs, they are heartless MF-ers to say the least.

2) Botulism When I was in elementary school we had to read this story about a dog named Princess. Princess was fed food from a bloated can…. and she died of scary ass Botulism. Basically if you eat the contaminated food you get a paralyzing illness and you can die. So now when I look at the cans at the store if there is a ding in one it's rare it will even get a second glance for me. And I am pretty sure that the canning industry is so advanced these days that the risk of botulism probably went away in the 1940s, but still, I fear. So I have taken it upon myself to protect the fam with my mighty can scoping powers to keep us safe from this awful and deadly toxin.  Side note, if needed, when I'm in my 60s and old I'm totally not opposed to using botox and if it kills me then, I'm in my 60s, I lived already. Yeah, that probably makes me a hypocrite and since I am perfect that totally has never happened in the history of ever.

(Princess says "Just Say No to Sketchy Beans")

3 Brown Recluse Spiders I shouldn't have even read this right now, but you still should.  I can't even speak of these monsters and what they can do to ya, but if they get ya, you can die. I'm not freaking out right now or anything. You must arm yourself against these beasts! I once saw a scary ass spider on my front porch (it may have been a small spider standing next to a grasshopper that day and I thought it was one mega creature vs two small ones, but still), but I didn't have the guts to go and kill it. Then I realized if I didn't kill it, it could get into my house and kill my kids dead. So I went back outside with some big boots on, ready to deal with a monster. However, it was too late, and the offending spider was nowhere to be seen!! So I cried for about 3 minutes solid because I "just knew" it had gotten inside instead and we were all gonna die. And maybe we are still alive, but it's not worth the risks. It's kill or be killed with these furry bits of death.

(Death - aint nobody got time for that)

So I now realize that this may be the most depressing/terrifying blog of all time. Well, I didn't write about The Exorcist (aka the only movie to ever thoroughly scare me/I don't wanna talk about it). So that's a plus, right? I think I need to lighten the mood with a short list of not-fucked-up stuff so y'all don't just walk about from this here blog forever. I just one day hope to write horror/scary/dark novels so please forgive me this tangent.


Random Really Cool Shit to Distract You From the Dull Post That This Really Is:


1) Funny TV - Some of my current favs in the rotation are Eastbound and Down, it's not for everyone, but if you had seen the way the Stevie's kids treat him you may join me in laughing about it for the rest of eternity. On the other end of the spectrum, The New Girl is pretty damn funny and not all about Zooey Deschanel surprisingly (even though I adore her x 1212al384y34y53tuyr99997185y) and each character is equally likable and awesome. This is what makes it great, light hearted, and really funny TV.

2) Martin Guitars - for some reason over the last few months I have fallen head over hills for Martin Guitars and can't wait for xmas because word on the street is a sweet little acoustic one is headed my way!! *whispers hooray* Apparently, Martin invented guitars basically so I owe them for my years of happiness. And the one that I have put out there to society (my family) as "the one" felt amazing in my hands, sounded like nothing else, and was just all around perfect for me. Come on holidays!

('Magic Man' by Heart is totally playing in my head right now whilst I stare at these guitars.)

3) Tattoos - I finally have started getting a few strategic tattoos that I have always wanted! This year I got a rose/gray watercolor thigh piece, which is my favorite. And I started working on my arm adding a black&white/grayscale vintage style floral piece (which almost killed me with pain like I have never known) to the arm with my phoenix to eventually turn it into a quarter sleeve piece that will basically be covered up 90% of the time due to the conservative business environment I work in, but that's OK. I will know it's there and that's good enough for me. Oh, and did I mention that tattoos hurt really bad. I think I am going to open up a business selling Nitrous Oxide to tattoo customers. It would absolutely help me with me with my crybaby pansy attitude during each of the few sessions I have had.

(Note, it is not easy to take a pic of your own inner arm. FYI.)

Well, it's officially the middle of the night and I still need to take a bath and make some Mashed Potatoes for a work holiday potluck tomorrow. I probably should have done that earlier. Oh well. That said I think I had better call it a night. Peace out homies. Oh and if you have some fears or loves or comments please send em my way and let me know that I am not blogging again in vain.



Lastly, also what's always good is music. Here's a song that really can get ya through some tough times, let go, and want to help others get over heartaches too. Aww, PSA are I.

* Note - Alicia brings a dog back to life in the video.

And Besides, There's So Much Beauty in a Storm.

As I lay here tonight I melt into my soft sheets. Sinking in, I feel at peace finally on this busy day. This place is a haven for me. My sweet pup lies by my leg and I can feel the rise and fall of his little chest.  Our ceiling fan is sprinkling me with a cool breeze. My babies are asleep in their beds. We are alive. We are happy. We are home.

Recently I have learned a lot about myself. The things that make me tick. The things I despise in myself and also the parts that I am proud of. The pieces of me. Some of these pieces shine. Some of these pieces are so dull you can barely pick them out of the pile.

I think because I am in my 30s now, I get it in my head sometimes that I know exactly who I am. As it turns out we are constantly evolving and changing. And even when I think I have it all figured out,  boom... something happens and I realize that I truly have no idea. And guess what? That's the best part!

Even though I still don't know it all I can tell you of a few things that I am: a daughter, a sister, a mother, a friend, a wife, a lover, a manager, a loser, a fighter, an overachiever, and a bum. And guess what? I am so grateful for the chance to screw up this life day after day.

"I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart: I am. I am. I am." - Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar



Salt Water

Today
I drudge
out
           into
           the
           sea

Imploring
the
waves
to finally
wash
you
           off
           of
           me.

Since it's all I have I want to go to sleep and dream of you and me just off the coast...

Summer, I am pretty sure it doesn't get better than this. Sunshine, my closest friends and family, and the fun is just getting started. And it is very much needed.

It has been a rough last 12-months. We had some deaths in the family. I have had some close friends drop out of the picture (and it kinda broke my heart a lotta bit). Things have been hectic on the work front, but not in a bad way really, just more of a high pressure environment. I feel like I have been a bit whiny and emo here on the blog and that really isn't me. I'm a big girl. I normally just accept that life isn't perfect, remind myself it goes on, and that is that. 

Anyway, in the spirit of getting back to the real me here are some of the things I am currently (in the spirit of the old school myspace survey style) super lovin':

1. Tilly and the Wall, they are a band that Monica and I discovered just last week when they opened for  She & Him at Red Butte Gardens. In addition to being really adorable they put on an awesome show and needless to say I have been listening to them pretty much nonstop. I like to play shit out, just a little bit. I highly recommend them if you need some feel good fun music in your life.

Most of their songs aren't as slow as this video, but it gets me in a Mamas & Papas kind of way so it's the one you get to see. 

2. Such Small Hands by the band La Dispute. I have been playing and singing this song for the past month. It is a short and sweet and super passionate song. The original is mildly screamo-y, but such talented writing. Here is a cute little cover that is similar to the version I have been tormenting the fam with. She may sing just a bit better than me, but you get an idea of what I am going for.

(right this instant, hi!)

3.  THE MacBook Pro, so I finally am working in the land of the Apple. Due to a very sweet Mother's Day gift I finally have my very own (not company owned) laptop! I thought it would be a no brainer since I have been iPhoning it up for the past 15-months. I should be able to roll with the whole mac thing without as much as a hiccup. I aint that old, yo! Yeah, I was wrong. It is a whole different world from the  Windowsland. And I am still learning aka texting my closest with questions such as "How in the hell do I copy paste?! Control, what?!? Why isnt there a Print Screen button? Is there a print screen button?!" I'm sure I am not using it to a tenth of it's abilities, but I think I am in love with it just a little bit.

Well, since it is a work night I should probably get my nutty ass to bed, but I really am super excited about summer!  Here's to dusting ourselves off and loving this amazing life we get to live!

 Oh and Alkaline Trio hoodies make excellent swimsuit cover ups when you think you are finally bikini ready enough, but then chicken out, FYI.

The Life I Love Is Making Music With My Friends

One of the coolest people I have ever met was named Fayetta. She was a woman nearing her 80s. And as a teenager, I was her caretaker.

Now, if I were a betting woman I would say Fayetta was pretty deep into the progressions of Alzheimer’s disease. She would be miles away pretty much all of the time. She was difficult to communicate with or to convince to participate in a lot of the things that life requires of us. Her family was not so sure about it being Alzheimer's, meaning maybe they just didn't want it to be reality. They wanted any other solution to this problem. I don’t blame them at all. Also that disease is one you can never officially diagnose until after death.  

Some of my duties were to help Fayetta get showered and dressed each day. This proved difficult when she was someplace in dreamland about 90% of the time. In addition she was a larger lady so I couldn't just take her by the arm and gently guide her to do the things we needed to do.  So I resorted to constant begging at first.

“Fayetta, please, let’s get ready so we aren't late to breakfast. I am so hungry. If we don’t hurry we will miss out”
or

“Fayetta, you’re going to be late. Please, please let’s get your shower done so we don’t keep them waiting.”
or 

“Fayetta, we are going to miss our flight if we don’t move quickly. We don’t want to be in trouble, do we?”

Sometimes my incessant begging worked. Sometimes it didn't.  On those days it was a no-go I had to call someone on my walkie talkie to come assist me with my assistance giving.  Fayetta really hated those days and I felt like I had failed.

Then one morning as Fayetta stared out the window of her retirement community apartment window I noticed a huge bin full of Willie Nelson memorabilia and cassette tapes shoved in the back of her closet. It was full on fan-girl type equipment.  I decided to inquire about it.

“Hey Fayetta, do you like Willie Nelson?”

Fayetta instantly lit up and was suddenly very present. “Why yes, Willie and I actually know each other. He quite fancies me to be frank.”

A bit taken aback with the interaction and pleased with the happy look on her face I decided to put on some of her cassette tapes while we began our morning routine. The sounds of Willie Nelson music filled the room that morning as the early daylight poured in. Anticipating our typical routine I started in with the usual we’re-gonna-be-late song and dance.  To which I got the most surprising response.

“Well, we don’t want to keep Willie waiting. I had better hurry!” Fayette replied as she got up and willingly headed into the bathroom for her shower that day.

BINGO! From that point on as long as the Willie Nelson music flowed freely I was able to get all of my tasks for Fayetta done in a breeze. I may or may not have occasionally said something to the effect of "Willie is waiting in the bathroom for ya!".  I have so many happy memories of curling her hair and painting her nails to help her “get ready to see Willie”. Through these preparations we became great friends. Fayetta began to care about the clothes she wore. She wanted to be sure her hair looked nice. She didn't daydream through breakfast, but was able to eat with the rest of her neighbors even if it turned out they were not Willie Nelson. Fayetta had the opportunity get outside and feel the sunlight and breathe out in the gardens.

Not only did I have the opportunity make someone’s quality of life better by being able to give them the care and dignity they deserved, I also was treated to being introduced to the music of a pretty dang cool fella. The hope he gave to my pal Fayetta really changed and made the rest of her life that much happier. I’m reminded of that every time I hear his voice. I'm proud to say that I too am a Willie Nelson fan just like my dear friend Fayetta.

You were always on my mind.

Nothing's Gonna Change My World

Bam.

As bad as stress can be sometimes, it can sometimes disappear as quickly as it slapped ya in the face to start. Tonight, I found my own cure to some recent issues that have been ruffling my charissafeathers for the past few weeks. Time for Charlie to cheer the fuck up, so to speak. Life goes on!

I have many, many, many things in my life that are so perfect. Why would I waste any time in this short life feeling down and out? So I'm not gonna anymore! Whisper words of wisdom...

So in the spirit of being charissadoestoomuchbutlovesthatshit here are some recent things I am digging these days:

Polka Dots

They're on my phone case, my clothes, you name it. If there is a polka dot version of anything you'd better believe I have it right now. I'm basically mentally 7-years-old these days.

Bruno Mars and Taylor Swift:

These two are super heavy in rotation on the ol spotify these days. 

Something about Bruno just really hits me as a life changer in music. There is a certain vibe about it that gets me to put down the alternative rock that I normally soley exist on. It took me all of two seconds to get hooked. Can't wait until Marta and I (and the rest of everyone in Utah Society, ie Monica, tons of our pals) get to see him in concert this summer.

Taylor Swift, I didn't immediately take to her from the beginning, but eventually she grew on me. And well, she's a fellow girl with guitar, so I gotta give her props. She is uber talented, writes catchy and relatable songs. That are even more fun for me to play around the house all night driving everyone insane in the membrane. 

These Shoes

As you may know I have a habit of playing out a pair of shoes when I fall in love with em. I can't stop with these ones. They go with EVERYTHING yo. Wish I had bought more than one pair. Dang.

Lastly, I'm pretty sure there is not a day that goes by in my life that I don't somehow, someway quote The Beatles (ie Life goes on...). This song fits me tonight.

I Must Have Caught Something In The Heat Of All These Dances

On most Sunday mornings my cute pal Jessica and I like to go to yoga and hit the 8am class. Partially because we are batshit insane to get up that early on the weekend, but we do like to get it done and over with so we can spend the rest of the day recovering and chillaxing. Oh and we do intend to try to gain maximus fitnessus via our death yoga routine. Pretty much any day now we are gonna look just like supermodels and get rich off of our looks and charms! PS - If you ever wanted to stalk and kill me/us I totally just filled you in on my/our routine. You're welcome Serial Killers of the earth! Sorry Jess.


Well, this past Sunday I was cruising along on my way out to the city to class. I was in an oddly happy mood, rocking out in my car to The Used. Maybe looking a little lame, but hey, that isn't a new occurrence. When suddenly ahead of me in the road I see this big ol' mega slow moving deer.

So I have to slow down, and then I have to slow down some more, and then finally I have to actually stop. My homeslice the deer, let's call him Stan because that is what Jessica named him as I regaled her with my story after our workout,  is just looking at me in front of the car. So, I lay on the horn and yell at him "Hello Idiot, death machine, in yo face. I could keeeeeel you!"

Stan, the deer, tilts his head at me. Apparently, Stan is not amused or bothered by me. So I hit the horn like ten times as fear sets in that I am going to be smashed by a ten ton truck since I am stopped in the middle of the road random style.  Who knows? Stan could've been a Final Destination deer sent to the road to take me out.

After what feels like forever, but is probably 60 seconds, Stan finally and fancily prances across the other side of the highway and over a barbed wire fence. Even though it was a risky thing to do, I watched as Stan crossed, just to be sure he doesn't get pancaked on the highway in front of my face. Stan is a survivor, he's not gon' give up.He makes it just fine.

I let out a sigh of relief, turn my car stereo back up, and get ready to recommence my travels to town to kick my own ass for sport. And before I take off, after having my full attention on Stan's risky road crossing trick, I glance to my right.

And about 5 more deer are standing to the side of my car staring at me with the same dopey looks on their face. *insert Psycho movie killing music here*

Taken aback (AKA I had no idea the jerkos were there and they totally snuck up on me and scared me half to death) I let out a real uncontrollable, terrified, and completely humiliating if anyone ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever heard it scream.

This prompts the deer posse to then scatter after Stan.  I am finally left to get on my merry way left thinking to myself  "well played deer pack."

Because Obsession Never Lasts & You're Insane by a Landslide

Lately, OK well at least for the last week or so, I have been completely caught up in my own head. Pretty much to the point of feeling a bit emo/whiny/depressive. It is so easy to sit and over-think and be flat out obsessive over issues, people, work, love, you name it yo.

Anyway, long story short I am going to make a list of all the random stuff (that is not what is currently on my mind) that makes me happy/smile/live!  I need a break from my own brain! And well, sometimes we all need a reminder that, as I always say, life goes on! 

Charissa's list of random ass shit that doesn't really make sense and I doubt you'll have the strength to read the whole thing nor do I blame you for that:

1. My babies
2. Stephen King 
3. Rolos
4. Pho
5. The Shining
6. Daddy
7. My family
8. My friends
9. My dogs
10. Guitar
11. Music
12. Running/Walking/Jogging
13. Clothes
14. Shoes
15. The Smiths
16. Diet Cherry Pepsi
17. Julian Casablancas
18. Books
19. Magazines
20. Kid baseball
21. My home
22. Cheese
23. My career
24. Boating
25. The Stanley Hotel
26. Shiny Toy Guns
27. Nachos
28. Yoga
29. Purple
30. Alkaline Trio
31. The Em Chord
32. The Beatles 
33. Concerts (Front row, getting kicked in the head by crowd surfers = home)
34. Ice Cream
35. The Princess Bride ("As you wish!")
36. Bear Lake
37. Diamonds
38. Poetry
39. Blogs
40. Urban Cowboy
41. Jim Carrey
42. Challenges at work
43. Summer
44. Brand New
45. She & Him
46. 30 Seconds to Mars
47. Spring Rolls from Canton Wok
48. Girls (the show, I'm not switching teams just yet)
49. Candy
50. Sudoku
51. Steak
52. East Canyon Reservoir
53. Words with Friends
54. My new bed
55. Staying up late
56. Slippers
57. Diet Red Bull
58. Writing
59. My mommy
60. Pizza
61. Baking
62. Willie Nelson
63. Spotify
64. Paint It Black ("I see a red door..")
65. Smashing Pumpkins
66. Rainy Monday
67. Bayside
68. Sharpies
69. Painting
70. Pinterest
71. Horoscopes (I know they're BS, but they entertain my old ass)
72. Quotes
73. Fresh paint
74. Strawberries
75. Instagram
76. The Vine (if you wanna waste some time, download that app, oh so fun!)
77. Cheezits
78. Chihuahuas
79. The Utah Jazz
80. Basketball
81. Road Trips
82. Camping
83. Halloween
84. Christmas
85. Birthdays
86. Four Loko
87. 80s Country Songs (Imagine me singing old Reba songs. Actually, let's not.)
88. John Lennon
89. 80s Music
90. AFI
91. Step Brothers (Boats & Hoes)
92. Live Music
93. Days Off
94. Greeting Cards
95. Post Secret
96. Australia
97. Florida
98. Salsa
99. Netflix
100. Hula Hoops (I challenge anyone to beat me in duration of le hula hoopage)

PS - Making lists totally helps clear your mind, it's basically like meditation only with stuff you dig. Or at least you are too distracted to be a mental case psycho freak face. 

A Long Night Spent With Your Most Obvious Weakness

I tend to set a lot of goals. I wanna do it all! However, sometimes I get a wee bit busy. And before I know it some of my goals turn coulda-woulda-shouldas. I really need to be training for a race with my little brother. I need to work on writing more. I need to do some projects around the house. I need to spend time with my loved ones. I need to bathe my dog. I need to get back to yoga consistently. My “I need to” list is about a mile long momentarily. Whoopsie!

Isn’t this life an amazing mix of chaos and peace? Some days, even when everything is all wrong, things just turn out happy. And you wake up with a random Taking Back Sunday song on your brain. And life, my friends, it goes on!

Speaking of life, I like stuff in it, a lot.

Here are a few of Charissa’s current favorite things:

These guys (I know this is a little bit late, but I love their holiday photo x12).

Being a mommy is a lot of work, but it pays off. These two make every day better for me no matter what is going on. As long as I have them in my world nothing can hurt me. Best job in the history of ever. Oh, and the little dog, well he's not all that bad either.

Shellac Nail Polish

Last year we discovered Shellac/Gel nail polish and like clockwork my dear buddy Jess and I get our nails done on what we refer to as "Nail Friday" every other week. It is so so nice to have a manicure that doesn't chip or look like crap for the whole two weeks vs a whole two hours with standard polish. Once you go Shellac, you'll never go back!

These Boots 

So I currently probably have at least, oh,  40-50 pairs of boots (does that make me sound mental?), but for some reason I keep wanting to wear only these ones (AKA wear them every single day, want to put them on with my pajamas, and/or to take the dog out). I love them. They go with everything. They make me happy. Get some fringed moccasiny boots yo, your life will never be the same. I got mine at Kohl's, on clearance. I shoulda bought more pairs!

Girls – TV show

I was never really into the whole Sex and The City show craze, it just wasn't my thing. However, when the show Girls came out on HBO last year I decided to give it a shot. At the very first, I wasn't quite sold, but given just a few episodes and I found that I actually LOVE LOVE LOVE this show almost as much as I love.... OK, I just love it a lot. Anyway, if you're looking for a show to watch this is the one.

Pho

I am so obsessed with Pho.  It has been my favorite food since April 2012 when we went and got some for lunch with my coworkers. I crave it. I will try to convert you to eat it with me. Just won Jessica over FINALLY. Come to eat some Pho with me. My favorite Utah Pho spots are Gossip, Thai This, and Pho Cali. By the way if you are not a Pho connoisseur it is pronounced Fuh (basically). And it is a rice noodle soup, I like the beef version. One day if I ever open a Pho restaurant I seriously want to name it 'Pho Q' just because it would be hilarious when someone asked "hey, where you going for lunch?" to which you reply "Pho Q" and they'd be all "Excuse me, never mind I was just trying to be nice assface!". Mwhahaha!

The Smiths

Apparently I think it's the 80s because I have spent the last year rocking The Smiths. Morrissey's original band really wows me and  has me super hooked. Some favs to include (but not limited to): Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want, There Is A Light That Never Goes Out, and Girlfriend In A Coma. I mean who doesn't love lyrics like "And if a double decker bus, crashes into us, to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die. And if a ten ton truck, kills the both of us, to die by your side, well the pleasure, the privilege is mine"

PS - I still write poems, when I can.

Lashes

Can't quite explain

just
how
much
life

that doing nothing with you

leaves
inside
of
me.

Gonna Ramble On, Sing My Song.

I had a house guest this morning, therefore I was struck with the desire to whip up something special in the kitchen. After browsing the webs/pinterest/etc I found a few muffin recipes for both donut muffins and snicker doodle muffins. I decided to take the pieces I liked from them and come up with some pretty rad muffins of my own.

This is my first creative recipe of 2013. I've been really busy with work and a little bit stressed out. It's good to get back to something "normal" for me.

We absolutely loved them and for rest of the morning I couldn't turn a corner without running into a boy with a breakfast treat in tow. If you're interested in making them too, please feel free!

Cinnamon & Sugar Donut Muffins

Ingredients:

Muffins:

• 1 stick of butter, softened
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 1/2 cup light brown sugar
• 2 eggs
• 1 cup milk
• 1 tsp vanilla extract
• 2 & 2/3 cups flour
• 1 & 1/2 tsp baking powder
• 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon nutmeg
• 1/2 teaspoon salt

Topping:

• 3 tablespoons butter, melted
• 3 tablespoons sugar
• 1 tsp cinnamon

Preheat oven to 425. Line muffin tin with cupcake liners. 

In a large mixing bowl whip butter until creamy. Then add in both of the sugars and mix. Add in eggs and vanilla and mix until it gets fluffy. In another bowl combine all of the dry ingredients then slowly add to the mix while alternating with the milk.

Scoop prepared batter (I like to use my ice cream scoop) into the muffin cups filling them 3/4 full. Bake for 16 minutes until they are risen and browned. Let them cool off just enough to be able to handle them.

In a bowl combine the cinnamon and sugar. Dip each muffin top into the melted butter and then into the cinnamon sugar mixture. Then serve warm.

And The Sky Was Made Of Amethyst

2012. A year that is nearly behind us. I have to admit, not my favorite year. 

Not that there weren't many, many good things to be grateful for. I cannot deny that I have so much good to be appreciative about. There just was also a lot of heartbreak and heartache. Conflicts. Challenges. Change. Loss. Even with that said, I am excited about the new year ahead. I feel so blessed to have my boys in my life. To be loved. To be in love.

None of us ever know exactly what lies ahead, but we can definitely enjoy the ride. This year I am going to be sure I don't take any of  the journey for granted. I can't wait to see you there!

Still My Guitar Gently Weeps.

Ever laugh at something completely stupid for approximately 7-10 business days? Well, my lame ass does that all the time. Hee hee. *end lame post*

I'm The Hero Of This Story, I Don't Need To Be Saved.

This blog has not been abandoned and doesn't need to be rescued by someone with the time/energy/enthusiam to actually press the keys of a laptop.

(You can't abandon something you never atteneded to properly, that's my story and I'm stickin to it!)


So here's my deal, I've been busy. Not your run of the mill I-have-a-megabusy-job-AND-kids busy, but like work-my-ass-off-mega-months-long-charity-project on top of the I-have-a-megabusy-job-AND-kids busy scenario. It momentarily occupied a mega-chunk of my brain which just so happend to include my blogamous maximus. And if that is real body part or organ or anything gross, obviously I don't care. Oh, and clearly I find the term "mega" awesome these days.

However, *looks both ways* I think it is starting to settle down. Now don't get me wrong, I love my career and life. I feel so fortunate to have the opportunties that I currently have and the ones that lie ahead too. I love my family and friends dearly. I am so dang lucky it's ridiculous! I still must admit that on occassion when I am driving off to work I have to swallow a little bit of envy as I glance at the local morning joggers. Also, I was running a busy errand a few weeks ago and was stopped at a red light. I happened to look over and see a homeless man just sleeping in the park. He had no place to go, why not enjoy a mid-morning nap? I, for just one second, was a wee bit jealous of his peace.

I'm hoping that I can find some time these next few weeks (when my life has settled back into a normal routine) to be sure to find my own peace. Be it a hot bubble bath and getting caught up on my reading, or be it taking a quick vacation with my significant other, or just doing holiday crafts/projects with my little boys. Just something. Or maybe what I really need is a little bit of nothing.

I wouldn't change a bit of this chaotic life, well other than getting rid of the indecisive piece of me, but I do think most of us can take a moment to press pause and enjoy the life we're living a bit more. I know I sure could.

I try to think about rainbows, when it gets bad.

In times of late work and family stuff has caused me to be too busy to write. Basically, I have been doing something all of the time, every day, pausing only to sleep when I must. With that hiatus it has also drained me of some of my natural writer’s motivation that I have always had in me for as long as I can remember. So I thought I would put together something simple to kick this writer’s block. I have seen a few of these type posts going around the webs lately (and they were cute/funny/coolish) so I thought I would kill some time, although short, with my own version.

If you really knew me…

...you’d know that I sometimes worry too much what people think. Not because I think others are better than me, but because I care so much about their feelings. When I really love/like/care about someone I worry a lot about how they feel in regards to me or if I ever let them down. And I feel super guilty if I have to say no, or be too critical, or I, heaven forbid, get a little bit mad at them.

...you’d know that I am head over heels obsessed with music. Day in day out I am listening to every single word of every song I hear and I fall in love. I love the words so much that I am constantly thinking of ways to immortalize them in tattoos on my body, that thus far I have never actually gotten, but I have thought up thousands of them.

...you’d know that I am terrified  a lot of something bad happening to my family and friends. I also think of every worst case scenario and scare myself even more when I can’t get a hold of someone. Car crashes, kidnappers, cults... I am to say the least, a little neurotic. I know, I know, I’m nutty.

...you’d know that I love too much and too deeply. This has meant over the years I get hurt a little deeper than I probably should. I have loved people who didn’t deserve it and people who I really had no business loving. However, it when it comes to actual lovers/relationships I have had less than nearly all of my friends. But still, I love hard.

...you’d know that I don’t sleep a lot. It’s not because I actually have a hard time falling asleep. In reality I could probably fall asleep right now if I were to lie down. The issue is that I don’t want to sleep. I have so many things I mentally plan to do every day. With my busy job, being a mommy, having a home to care for, etc etc, I just want to do a few “me” things. Unfortunately it turns out the only time I have time for those tends to be between 11:30pm and 2:00am. So no, I am not on drugs. I’m not that adventurous yo. I am just a weirdo.

...you’d know that one of my most important goals is to be happy. Life is never gonna be perfect so we have to make the most of every day we have. One thing about me is that I can over think and over analyze with the best of them so I have to consciously try to be happier and just “Let it be”. Hey! I should really get that tattooed on me ;)

...you’d know that I google everything. I have an annoying little habit of really liking (aka HAVING TO BE) to be right. So I am often looking stuff up to validate my points. Sometimes a thought just pops into my mind, or I read something that sparks an interest and then I learn ALL THAT I CAN about it. I like to become an expert. If you are interested in the price of anything, need info on unsolved murders, or want to know what the time is in Australia, I'm your gal!


So there are a few charissaisms for ya. Are any of my home-slices interested in sharing a few of their own too? Send em my way.

Her Name Is Cherry, We've Just Met.

It must be cherry season here in SLC, UT because everywhere I turn someone is offering them up. We were given a batch of cherries this week so I decided I’d use them up in a Fresh Cherry Crumble. I mean, what else is a girl half-assing her way through 'Weight Watchers at Work' to do?


I have baked a similar item in the past however it was using frozen cherries which is a whole different animal since frozen cherries are pretty much a million times sweeter. Well, maybe not a million, but a lot sweeter.

So today I decided to wing it and came up with my own recipe and thought I’d share it, ya know in case anyone gifts you a mega ton of cherries.



Fresh Cherry Crumble

3 cups fresh cherries (pitted and sliced in half)

1 stick of butter

1/2 cup Old Fashioned Oats

¾ cup Whole Wheat Flour

1/3 cup Brown Sugar

¼ cup Splenda (or real sugar – it may be better with fresh cherries, but I used Splenda)

1 tablespoon Corn Starch

1 teaspoon Cinnamon

1 tbsp Vanilla Extract

¼ tsp Nutmeg

¼ cup Almond Slivers



Preheat oven to 375

Mix the Splenda (or sugar) with the Corn Starch in a mixing bowl. Add the Cherries (and any juice) and mix and then let sit for about 20-minutes. It will seem like a lot of sweetener, but it’s not unless your cherries are abnormally sweet and tasty.

In a separate mixing bowl mix the flour, oats, brown sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, and almonds. If your berries don’t seem very sweet add another 4th cup sweetener/sugar to this mix. Add Vanilla.

Dice the butter into teeny tiny cubes. Blend it into the dry mix. The butter cubes will help form the crumbles as it bakes.

Grease a 9-inch cake pan. Add cherry mixture. Then add your dry mix to the top and lightly press. Bake for about 30-minutes or until you see your fruit bubbling.

Serve with Whipped Cream or Vanilla Ice Cream.

I Couldn't Wait For The Summer And The Warped Tour



Some weirdos may have taken pictures of themselves with their tickets.


As I drove out to our Pre-Warped Tour Breakfast I thought to myself that I am, unfortunately, not aging in reverse and... eventually I should probably stop going to crazy outdoor concerts such as The Vans Warped Tour. You know, grueling heat, dirt, dehydration, the kids. However, that day didn't come this year.



So, while I still am young enough to keep on keepin on here is a semi-quick recap of  our Warped Tour Extravaganza 2012.



We got fueled up for the concert splitting a delicious order of Eggs Florentine Benedict at Mimi's Cafe in Murray. So good!


Jessica with her breakfast.



Who takes pictures of their breakfast, hmm??

This can of purple stuff (under the guise of a big ol energy drink or tea or at least that was what we hoped they thought) may or may not have been shared in the LOOOOONG line to get in to the event. It also may or may not have inspired the words, and I quote "We just wanted to let you know that the music you write really means a lot to us." when we ran into one of our most favorite singers right off.

Arrival time! Best little Warped Tour attendee group that you ever did see.

Marta and I.

Jessica and I.

Marta and Jared.

We were fortunate enough to have some time to get to chat with Anthony Raneri, the singer of Bayside, one of our favorite (mine since 2005) bands ever.

Sweetness, can you believe this?

And also see many fun shows, here are a few pics.



Anti Flag



Senses Fail

Bayside

Mo' Bayside

Some of us (aka ME) were uber wise and decided to rehydrate with Diet Coke (only) vs lame ol water. Note this works really good if you want to have a "sick spell" and almost nap on a sand bag during an important band's set. It was a total concert girl fail and I hang my head in shame.

Jessica, although drinking DC with me, was smart and didn't lose her water like someone else.

All in all, it was a super fun day spent with great friends & great music. So glad I still haven't outgrown it, yet.

PS - I was going to upload a video, but then it decided it would take at least 7-10 business days to upload so I didn't. I guess I will youtube or facebook them eventually.